Being Truthful

You know how I determine if I'm supposed to tell someone something that might offend them or hurt their feelings?

I don't want to do it.

I hem and haw and delay. I tell God that I'm just being patient and that maybe I misunderstood what I saw and/or heard. I mean, if I'm wrong it will create unnecessary pain in that relationship and who needs that?

But I've learned over time that my hesitation is a signal to me. It means my attitude and heart is right before God; when I do share my concerns with someone it's not because I can but because I have to.

When I was a much younger Christian, I thought it was my (gleeful) duty to point out the flaws of others.

Not necessarily to the offender, but to anyone within listening distance. I mean, I don't want a confrontation, right?

I realized later (having also been the recipient of that behavior and being really injured) that what I was doing was not helping the person. Rather, it was gossip.

So now I find it better to ask myself, "If I were in this situation, would I want to know?" If the answer is 'yes' I force myself to discuss it with the person. If the answer is "No, it wouldn't change anything or help" I keep it to myself.

I am not the Holy Spirit. I don't want to wave my righteous finger in front of anyone.

But if it were me and I knew the person talking to me did it for the right reason I'd be able to listen.

And hopefully change.