Absence of Pressure

When I"m counseling clients I find I"m often counseling myself; many of the issues being discussed are either things I've also experienced or are thinking about myself.

Lately I've been spending precious brain cells thinking about 'absence of pressure'.  How someone (meaning me) reacts when there's an absence of pressure in their life.

We have all longed for peace and quiet while in the midst of great stress; how we'll just take a nap or a vacation or a Xanax...

But what do we do when the pressure/stress/crisis is over?  After the nap, etc. etc.

Do we move forward in our lives, stretching ourselves and investing in positive activities, relationships and experiences?

Or do we...do nothing. 

I've begun to accept that I tend to be a do-nothing-er.  I have good intentions (during the pressure).  Once this is over I'm going to:

Visit the sick and elderly
Invite all my neighbors to church
Write the soldiers serving overseas
Volunteer
Increase my client load by marketing more effectively
Write another book
More public speaking (Toastmaster's?)
Invest more in my siblings, siblings-in-law, their spouses and children
Spend more quality time with my parents

But ashamedly, I admit there's little pressure and I've done none of the things listed above.

As I continue to pray and determine which comes first (the CHICKEN!) let me challenge you to do the same. 

I'm not referring to New Years' resolutions or personal goals here.  I'm talking about how to move forward in life with a useful attitude. Fully engaged.  Pushing yourself to talk to those you love on the phone.  Write an email. Get out of your zombie zone and live.

Gotta go now.  My brain cells are warming up and are bugging me to be taken out for a spin.

Coming Up For Air

It has been a looonng last few months. I haven't had time to do laundry (see prior blog) much less write on this blog.

It amazes me how time can fly when you're not thinking much or doing much.
I've been known to doodle away a week or so just getting lost in a book or shopping. I've become a fervent 'lady who lunches.'

But these last few weeks have dragged by. I've been dreading the passage of each day and here's why:

Change.

In January I was told that I needed to relocate my counseling office due to a change in ministry focus at Harvester Christian Church. They'd graciously extended scheduling and support since I'd become acquainted with them 9 years ago.

The process of striking out on my own and the details that are necessary really freaked me out.

I remember hearing this little inner voice (?) say, "I'm not old enough to do this."
Of course, I gave myself whiplash as I realized that I certainly AM old enough!
So that thought had to be surrendered.

Then dear daughter Kari told me she'd purchased her plane ticket to move to LA. I'd known for over a year that she and her husband Gareth had planned to make that move; that's why they were forcing themselves to live in our basement while working fiendishly to save up money to move.

It came to me that this was a big deal. That my family might never be the same as it was. That our future interactions would take work and planning.

My two weaknesses.

Along with that dear daughter was cast in a local production of Steel Magnolias.
Have you ever seen Steel Magnolias?

It's rough, I'll tell you. There was not a dry eye in the audience and I sobbed like a kid who dropped her ice cream cone on the ground.

I experienced grief and loss as I watched that play. It was a real tearjerker. And Kari played the Julia Roberts character who doesn't make it to the last scene.

I barely made it through that one.

So now she's moved forward in her life and Gareth will be joining her in a few weeks. I love her so much and will miss them both terribly. Everyone is telling me to Skype but I'm still trying to figure out how to email so it may take a while.

So now my office is moved, the pressure is off, and now it's time to come up for air. I feel like I've been in labor for three months.

I think I'll be okay. I'm blessed with helpful and irritating friends who love me too much to let me hide. They stayed away when I needed time to process stuff and kicked my rear end when I was overdoing it.
Believe me, when it's time to repay the favor I'll be there with great zeal...

I'm excited for the future, for the opportunities that might come my way.

But if you see me in the next few weeks, please ignore the twitch in my right eye and left shoulder. I've heard they will lessen over time.