Stuff and Nonsense

It seems to me that most of us are either getting new stuff or getting rid of old stuff. But it's all stuff, after all.

Early in my marriage, I spent lots of mental energy wishing I had and trying to get.

Now that I'm older I find I'm clearing out and giving away.

Don't get me wrong- I like stuff. I like looking at it and I like using it.

But after while it seems as if all the stuff I've ever worked for and acquired over the years is, truly, only stuff.

Last week my dear daughter Kari decided to have a garage sale. So many of us say we don't have anything to sell or don't have the time to sort through the stuff we have in order to get rid of it.

Such was not the case here. We eagerly dug through and enthusiastically donated item after item for the sale.
It surprised me to realize how few possessions were really sentimental or useful to the family. Yet most items were acquired a piece at a time, if not deliberately, then purposely welcomed into our home.

Looking at this stuff spread out on tables for the garage sale, I realized that none of those things held any meaning for us.
How when we decided to sell them we cut all emotional ties with them.
And they became stuff.

The sale went well; it was fun to watch each buyer leave happily with some of my former stuff. I was glad to see my stuff become their new prize.

But it challenged me to be mindful of the next stuff I bring into the house.
Or into my mind.
Or into my heart.

It's vital we keep perspective on what we find valuable.
And what is just stuff.

Finding a Counselor

Once the decision to obtain counseling is made the next step is to find the right therapist.

There are many mental health professionals listed in phone directories and on insurance provider lists but there are a few pointers to also consider.

It is vitally important that there be a connection between the client and counselor. That bond paves the way for ongoing trust and vulnerability required to move ahead in therapy.

For that reason I recommend you check with friends and associates about counselors they know of or have seen. Most folks have had some type of interaction with counselors and are not shy about sharing their opinion (good OR bad).

Evaluate what is most important to you:

*Do you require someone who is spiritually based or secular?

*Male or female?

*Someone who has lived in your geographical area for a while or does that make no difference to you?

*Do you require a therapist with a wall full of diplomas and certificates or someone who comes with high recommendations but few documents to prove education?

*What about the age of the therapist? I have had many clients come to me initially because I'm older and there is an implication that with age comes wisdom.

*Family values? Does it matter to you if the therapist is married and has kids? What if the counselor is single or has been widowed or divorced? Would that hinder your ability to trust them?

There is nothing wrong with consulting several counselors before deciding on one. I tell new clients at the first appointment that I consider it my 'audition' and that they have to decide if they get a good vibe from me. I assure them that there are other good therapists available and I'm not their only choice; what's important to me is that they get the help they need.

In the St. Louis area, where I'm based, many churches have professional counseling offices open not only to church members/attenders but also the community. In my office we are eager to help the person without an agenda of adding to our church member list.

I hope this article gives you good tips on where to find a counselor.

In upcoming blogs I plan to discuss why I suggest Christian counseling, what to expect in a counselor and what an average session looks like.

I hope you continue to follow this blog for helpful tidbits.