New York New York, It's a Wonderful Town

Last week a girlfriend and I went to New York to visit my daughter Kari in Astoria. Stephanie (said girlfriend) had never been and she had been eager to see the sights. I'd been a few times but since Kari had moved to a new apartment I gladly went to check it all out.

It was go go go from the time we got on the plane until we returned home 5 days later. We tried to pace ourselves but the very buzz of the city itself made it impossible to go slowly.
If we wanted to go to, say, Times Square, we had to hop on two busses, three subways, and walk twelve blocks just to get there. It would take all day and some careful planning to spend a few minutes at the attraction itself. By then, sometimes, we didn't care. I did purchase some postcards to remind myself of where I'd been.

The crowds were everywhere; the only place there was solitude would be in the bathroom. Even then you had to rush because there were always several desperate people waiting outside wiggling the door handle.

We visited Ground Zero the day after the anniversary of the attack. It was a somber experience to see the memorials, handwritten notes and flowers lined up against the fence.
We also rode the Staten Island Ferry and viewed the Statue of Liberty. Stephanie made sure we rode a horse drawn carriage through Central Park. Kari and I walked partway across the Brooklyn Bridge (we went halfway and back).

Kari's apartment is very nice; she and Gareth have made it into a home. Actually, Maeby and Ferrari, her cats, only allow humans to live there to care for them. Gareth, Kari's fella, cooked us a wonderful italian meal that I am still carrying around my midsection.

I was very glad to return to St. Louis, however. I realized how blessed I am to have a place to call home that I can actually hear... nothing. Busy cities make it difficult to be relational as there are too many people rushing around to get to know many of them.
I found myself longing for the ability once more to chat up the grocery checker, to tease the person at the drive thru window, to nod and smile at someone as they pass.

Relationships are challenging enough without the added pressure of the 'rules of the city.'
For example, Kari grilled me before we first set out sightseeing:
1) Don't make eye contact,
2) Don't talk to anyone you don't know,
3) Don't pet someone elses' dog on the street,
4) Don't wait for someone to go in front of you- you must push forward or you'll never get anywhere,
5) Get through the turnstiles fast or you'll be cursed out or run over.

It was exhausting!

I loved my visit. I experienced a few snags sleeping (Kari woke me up one night because I was snoring. She said I sounded like a dying alien...). Gareth is a great host and Kari is a good guide.

It's been about a week now and my ears have almost quit ringing. By next week I hope to be able to sleep without fighting the desire to look out my bedroom window to watch my neighbor's big screen tv.

If I've gained anything from this trip (besides weight) I'd learned to be glad that I'm a midwesterner. I may not know my way around my own town (read previous blog) but I know I can pet someone's dog (if it's shorter than me- read previous previous blog), and that good manners will always put a smile on someone's face.

Fun With Church Ladies

Thanks to all the 2 Rivers ladies who came out en masse to enjoy a great evening at the Lindsay's Chocolate Cafe on Wednesday night. I'd like to think each person came to fellowship and to hear me speak but I know better. It was the promise of CHOCOLATE.
We girls have our needs, right?
The food was phenomenal, the ladies were so friendly, and the ambience made it a wonderful evening.
Everyone was very attentive although I suspect that since I spoke after dessert that their rapt attention was in reality a sugar buzz.
So be it.
I loved the warmth and openness of each lady who approached me to introduce themselves and visit.
So thanks again (thanks Chardean). It was a lot of fun.
BTW- I must have had too much cake since I got lost on my way home. Really.
I've lived in this area for almost 22 years and I got lost going home.
Ya gotta laugh.

My Own Worst Enemy

I am such a klutz. Really. Every injury I've ever had has been something dumb I did to myself.
Just like everyone else, I've stubbed my toes and crunched my knuckles on something. I've had to have sewing machine needles removed from my finger (after having to lift the presser foot and releasing my digit from the machine). I've needed stitches for holding a knife wrong and trying to cut through frozen food and slipped. I've given myself a black eye running into the arm of a chair.
My neighbors never really know what to expect when I leave my house for work since I've fallen out of my own front door. Twice. Everything stops when I'm nearby as everyone waits to see what I'm going to do next.
I've even been whiplashed by a mannequin in a department store; the explaining I had to do and teasing I had to endure while undergoing treatment was disconcerting. And that was just by the doctor!
The latest episode to my list of embarassing injuries occurred last week while waiting to go on a bike ride with my hubby.
He'd gone to pick something up at our house and so I asked to be dropped off at the end of our street so I could play with/pet the neighbor's great dane.
I don't know this dog very well but he seems to be very sweet. I've petted him several times and he 'plays well with others.'
Man, when this dog gets up on his back feet to get closer he towers over me. Looking at him that day, I estimated him to weigh probably 180 lbs. I wanted to break away from the petting gently so he wouldn't get upset so I pushed against his shoulders to get him back over his side of the fence.
Suddenly I felt this sharp pain on my upper lip and I doubled over to put my hand over my mouth. My eyes clenched shut as the tears rushed down my face. Once I opened my eyes I looked at my hand, fully expecting to see my front teeth in my palm. Luckily, no. Blood, but no teeth. Apparently the dog had bumped into me with his giant paw and hit me just under the nose.
By this time Don has returned for me; he must be really used to my clumsy antics because he calmly looked at me and said, "Here, put some ice on it."
The bleeding stopped soon afterwards and we went on with our bike ride. Even as I write this my mouth is still tender but now I'm in the 'I can't believe I did that' mode.
But it is a reminder to me how most of the pain we experience we somehow do to ourselves.
Misunderstandings, a rush to judgement, not thinking clearly, impatience. These all create a pain that could be avoided if we stopped, took a breath, opened our hearts to the Lord, and stepped a bit more gently into the situation.
I never really get the sympathy I think I deserve when I'm experiencing pain like that. I think my friends are quick to understand that if I hadn't (for example) gone to pet the dog I wouldn't be bruised and sore right now.
It's a great lesson to us all to think first, live prayerfully, and never pet an animal that is taller than you are.

No No Techno!

Technology is hard on my self-esteem. All this hooplah about making my life easier is making it a lot harder. I have discovered more pet peeves regarding technology than I could ever imagine.

For example, cell phones in public really bug me. Yes, they are convenient and give me more freedom. But freedom from what? I'm convinced that I overhear more conversations between folks I don't know than I ever have on my own phone.

I'm really not interested in who-said-what-to-who-and-what-they-did-and who-they-did-it-with. To me, cell phone conversations are prime demonstrations of the speaker preferring the caller than the real live person who is actually in the room/store/synagogue with them. Checkout clerks describe their frustration with shoppers who maintain a phone conversation before, during, and after completing a transaction. Drive thru restaurants rarely have firsthand conversations with those at the drive up windows.
I've witnessed young girls at the mall, walking 4 abreast, each one attached to a phone speaking to someone else! If it wasn't so frustrating I'd have laughed.

Did you ever think you'd see a note in the church bulletin asking you to turn off your cell phone? Or the library? Or a funeral home? Counseling sessions are often interrupted by the little singing menace. To be fair, my phone has squawked a time or two...

Texting isn't much better. I admit to a preference for texting since it can be read at my convenience. It can be a more concise way to share information: "Call Mom. Choking. SOS."
However, flying thumbs and downcast eyes don't make for good communication.

The picture/video function on many phones can be amazing, but it can also cause great pain as uncool, unflattering behavior or photos are sent across the world by spiteful ex-friends and soon-to-be-ex-spouses.

In fact, I'm finding that many relationships are being threatened by this little rectangular object that was meant to be so helpful. Hurting wives/husbands say their spouse is having an affair with their I Phone (is there an 'ap' for that?). Husbands are learning of their wive's marital dissatisfaction on Facebook. Important possessions are listed on the 'Free' section on Craigslist (seriously-a guy discovered his wife was unfaithful so he gave away all her stuff...everything).

Counselors and pastors now need training in the issues that surround technological infidelity, and I'm not referring to online pornography. I'm talking about the distraction of the little screen. Users respond to pleas for conversation with, "Huh?" Parents ask me how to get Junior to keep his texting minutes within reason. With each solution comes more questions.

Just out of curiousity, I collected all the technological data I check every day. What I found alarmed me, especially since I'm the least techno savvy person I know:

Work voice mail (press 1 to listen, 9 to erase)
Cell phone voice mail (press code then 7 to erase)
Work calendar site ( access code, day being checked, pop up for more information)
Email (keep as new, forward,save, or delete),
Gmail (website, access code, save, or delete),
MySpace (phasing out but not completely),
Google (blog and/or comment code),
Twitter (subscriptions or saved searches),
my own website
Scctnet.com
2 insurance companies, each with difference access codes and passwords,
Facebook.
Craigslist

My point is, when is enough enough? I fear that we will run out of 'bars' one day, look up, and find ourselves in a lonely room and wonder where everyone who mattered to us went.
I don't want to convey to people that technology is more important than they are.
Do you?

Am I Being Punked?

Don and I went to the Columbia Bottoms Conservation Area today and had a wonderful time. The weather cooperated and it was an absolutely beautiful day.
First up, of course, is the Visitor's Center, which in this case is basically a rebuilt barn. I recommend it highly, especially as a hands-on learning theatre for youngsters. As usual, samples of wildlife are either dangled or stuffed or mounted behind glass to educate us all about the critters that roam this wild area. I took pamphlets, booklets , and information packets to pore over once my hiking experience was done and I'll tell you why.

I've been hiking and/or cycling in these carefully chosen wildlife areas these last few years. But all I know for sure is that the Visitor's Center will be the ONLY place that I will see any of these fascinating creatures (this includes the nature movie continually being played in a darkened classroom at the Center).

Once outside, armed with my books, pamphlets, a mental list of bear and deer tracks, repellants and whistles, I carefully tread on the sacred path created by the conservation department. I keep my senses fully locked and loaded to experience all that nature has to throw at me; my eyes are searching the air , the trees, the bushes, the undergrowth, and the path upon which I step so I can be a respectful and observant partaker of all nature has to offer.

So far I have discovered a baby sock (pink), a guitar pick, a hair thingy, empty shotgun shell casings, various rocks and feathers, and a lone bicycle seat that begs the question- 'where's the rest of the bike?'

I have NOT seen a black, brown, grizzly or polar bear. Nor have I encountered a bobcat, bobwhite, white-tailed deer (except at a farmer's field outside the nature area). There have been no snakes, owls, turkeys, pheasants, or feral dogs, cats, or pigs.

There have, however, been many empty water bottles, bandaid wrappers, wayward shoe inserts, empty bait containers, and even a few articles of clothing I'm surprised have not been missed.

My point is, do the folks in charge of these parks purposely collect these tantilizing examples of wildlife, have a meeting, and then send them off on a brief vacation upon learning of my plans to visit their grounds?

The next time I visit a park I think I'll take the trails and set up my tent in the appropriate area. I'll leave all my maps and insiders guides at home. I'll spend my time seeing and appreciating what is truly there rather than endlessly scan the horizon for what I've been told I should be seeing. Then I'll walk into the visitor's center and ask the ranger to tell me how long these displays have been here, when they've been dusted last, and if they TRULY exist in this area. Maybe I'll even have the wildlife expert take his trusty flashlight and actually show me where one of these little varmints spends his time while avoiding me. A beaver bunker, if you will.
No matter. My thrill with being outdoors in these unique places is not lessened by the absence of animals and birds. I can enjoy myself all by myself if necessary.
But beware. Some day, If I should hear the faint sounds of singing around a campfire late at night, smell critter-type smore's being toasted over a roaring fire, and might just make out the high pitched laughter of forest fawns and raccoons as they share their 'one that got away' story, I'll know it was a well-orchestrated joke played on little old me.

Attitude is Everything

I do quite a bit of marriage counseling. Since Don and I have been equally-yoked for 30 years now I guess folks can see the 'married' brand on my forehead. Don says it's the broken look on his face. I told him I thought that expression was rapture...
It's thrilling to guide couples as they muddle through pain and disillusionment to obtain healing in their marriages. My goal is to encourage them to defer to the Lord for strength and wisdom, knowing that He will lead and guide them.
Many people only have the strength of their commitment to their marriage vows to keep them moving ahead. Others don't; they drop off early, stating that it's too late, they've been too wounded, the trust is gone.
It's important to note that it's not just unbelieving couples who don't hang on; often I see professing Christians too blinded by their pain and, yes, pride to hang in there through the difficult times inherent in marriage renewal.
For example, recently I had two couples in back-to-back sessions facing the same ultimatum: is this marriage worth the hard work necessary for restoration?

One couple pushed the 'yes' button. The other chose 'no.'

I'm certainly not judging either couple; they both had valid reasons for their decision.
But what intrigued me was that the currently unbelieving couple chose to honor their vows.
The Christian couple broke down.
It's a reminder to me that we need to nurture our relationships in order to keep them healthy. We can't let ourselves become cocky about our lives and our mates; rather, we need to continually monitor our attitudes and behaviors. Otherwise, we risk creating a chasm that we (or our mate) may be too exhausted or wounded to clambor over.
We can't be arrogant about our faith either. Just as good relationships draw you closer to God, difficult relationships can pull you away.

It's all in the attitude.

Hummingbird Wars!

I'm a hummingbird fan. Not the 'even-my-license-plate-has-to-say-HMNGBRD' but they are meaningful to me.
Whenever I feel emotional chaos in my life my attention is drawn to a hummingbird frantically flapping nearby.
I have been assured that hummingbirds are common and a sighting is no big deal. But it's rare for me to see one of these little winged buggers in action.
Our encounters have been eyeball to eyeball 'whazzup' meetings. These winged critters seem to be giving me the old stare down as if to scold me for being such a wimp. They're so minute and yet so beautifully detailed. Can't I see how the Creator spent so much time and attention on them? Isn't it obvious to me (with my HUMONGOUS brain in comparison) that God spends that much care in guiding my life?
What am I, a knucklehead?

Where was I?
Oh yeah. Hummingbirds.
So I'm looking out my patio doors this morning when I see two hummingbirds buzzing each other. Apparently these little guys are territorial and don't share their snacks willingly. I've been aware of a pair of birds vying for the same watering hole for several weeks now. Both of them have been able to feed from the flowers and feeder I have set there for that purpose. I'm thinking, "Cool. God is reminding me not to worry because He's taking care of them both just like He takes care of me."
But then the party is disrupted by an intruder as a third hummingbird dive bombs the proverbial chips and dip. Then a fourth marauder joins in the fray.
I'm witnessing 4 hummingbirds soar and buzz and chatter at each other right outside my door.

Now, I'm no dummy. I can see the obvious signs of nature fighting for survival blah blah blah.
But what it means to me is beyond that.
It's a reminder of God's extreme care of me even when I'm not really aware of the details. It's the provision over and above what I ask or think. It's God's assurance that He is present in my life. He knows my heart is sore right now and that I need an emotional and spiritual bandaid.
Who cares about dumb little hummingbirds?
I DO!
And that's why God brought them to my feeder today.