A New Name

If you have read any of my blog posts, you'll know I'm notoriously clumsy.

Some people may say I'm a human cannonball; I prefer to call myself...spacially challenged. If there's something to trip over, bounce off of, smack into or demolish, I'll find it with great efficiency.

It's become a real joke among my friends that I need to either sit down more or create an entire wardrobe made up of bubble wrap and duct tape.

Well, I did it again.

This Wednesday was such a beautiful day here in the St. Louis area. The temperature was cool but still warm enough to not need a sweater and the sun was bright in an almost cloudless sky. The trees have begun to turn the many shades of orange and red that tell us that Fall is here.

When it's nice like that dear hubby and I like to hike in a local park. This time we chose Cuivre River State Park in Troy, MO. There's a trail that wraps around the lake there and it's just challenging enough to make it fun.

And it was fun. Until about half way around the lake.

That was when I got cocky.

It's amazing to me how quickly something awesome (the hike) can turn on you.

As I was motoring along on this very pleasant hike, I looked down and noticed that my shoelace was untied. I mean, that's bad; I didn't want to stumble over it and hurt myself...

In that split second of broken attention I stepped on a large, slippery rock, lost my balance and fell down on my right shoulder.

I saw stars.

It took me a few minutes to catch my breath. Don practically had to call a crane to haul me back up on my feet. I checked for internal and external bleeding.

So far so good.

Remember, I still had to hike the rest of the trail to get back to the car so I was thankful I wasn't really hurt.

But as we continued our hike I couldn't resist the urge to hassle dear hubby about his quick thinking (none) and his sympathetic spirit (also none) in my time of need.

In fact, he thought it was quite entertaining to see me tumble. He actually had the nerve to tell me,

"Honey, I'm going to induct you into a tribe and you will need a new name. I'm going to call you 'She-Who-Falls-Down-A-Lot.'"

I had a few names for him, too, but they weren't repeatable.

Quit Thinking and DO Something!

It seems I have spent most of my life trying to slow down.

By that I mean I've always spoken out of turn, made rash decisions, had major meltdowns that turned out to be based on emotion rather than fact.

It has kicked my backside time and again.

So much so that I've become a huge fan of taking a moment to stop, think, and pray before making a major (or even minor) decison.

That's cool and it's saved me from many angst-filled moments. I'm sure if I hadn't taken those breathers I'd have more regrets and been compelled to make amends alot.

But I've become aware of a problem that arises when we take too long to think about all the ins and outs of each situation:

Paralysis.

We tend to think that everything needs to be planned out to the ultimate degree before we make a single decision. By the time we write everything down, make multiple copies, bring it to our church care group, or talk to anyone we've ever met, the opportunity might well be gone. Or something else pushed its way into our thoughts and again, by the time we remember to think about it the chance has passed us by.

I think sometimes we demand a guarantee that everything we do will be successful and if we do everything right our lives will be perfect and problem free.

That takes away the risk, to be sure, but it also excludes the excitement and courage it takes to simply trust that God will take care of us.

I believe that we take ourselves too seriously sometimes; what makes me think that my worrying about an issue will make it go any easier?

Lately I've beome aware of how important it is to actually put action to our hopes and dreams. Like, if you dream of being a writer, write something. If you want to be a gardener, plant something. If you want to be an action hero, practice your alter ego and get exercise by wriggling into your tights in extremely small spaces.

How tragic it would be to look back on your life and think about all the hesitations and second-thoughts that caused paralysis and lack of contentment.

Quit thinking so hard and DO something!

Too Much Too Soon

Okay, I'm going to vent here.

No, I'm not really mad.

Or even upset.

But it seems kind of weird to me how much technology has changed the rules of how people interact with each other.

I know-Karen-you've-said-this-before-ad-nauseum.

But I've got a new one for you:

Has anyone else spoken to an obviously pregnant woman and been told,
"Her name is Isabelle"

or

"This is Martin"

in a tone that suggests I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHO WAS IN THERE??!!

I kind of expect the Mommy to say to her tummy, "What do you say to the nice lady?"

To me, being an outsider (literally), I'm addressing an individual who has a big belly. Until birth that child is a sweet surprise.
I could as well be discussing someone's bunion for all I know.

But somehow I have insulted an entire family.

Facebook has displayed ultrasound pictures of babies that are so clear I'm surprised the kid isn't wearing a onesie or have a bow in her hair.

Sometimes I feel like I'm invading someone else's privacy when I see these photos. I mean, I'm embarrassed enough when my family shows pictures of me in my underpants when I was 3 years old.

Can you imagine how freaked out these kids will be when they get older to know some stranger has seen their umbilical cord?

uughh!

Internal Battles

No, I'm not talking about what happens when you eat cranberries and then have a gulp of milk (I did that...once).

I'm talking about the old habitual self-talk that whispers into your brain and makes you think it's the truth.

The self-talk that reminds you of all your old mistakes and embarrassments; the fear that what you thought happened may not have gone that way at all.

When those thoughts/fears arise, what do you do?

I used to think that any second thoughts or negative feelings were an expression of being realistic:

Maybe I missed some social cues at the time and beating myself up was a way of taking responsibility and reminding myself that I shouldn't get too cocky.

I've learned over time that those thoughts and feelings are very inaccurate. When I work so hard at making something 'not about me' I'm ironically MAKING it 'about me!'

It takes surrender and the willingness to accept what trusted others say about you until you've learned how to see it for yourself. I'm often surprised when my trusted others are more impressed with me than I am with myself.

But I believe God puts people into our lives to provide us a forum for feedback and encouragement. Sometimes there are several people and often it's just one individual who we can bounce ideas off of and know we can get a realistic opinion.

I know I'm not alone in these internal battles; almost all of us question our choices and interpretation of events. That's why I'm so determined to be one of the trusted ones in people's lives.

So as I go about my day, I will mentally wrap all my self criticisms up and stuff them way back in my pantry (I never go there anyway). I will take a deep breath, brush my hair out of my eyes, relax my shoulders, and move ahead knowing that this whole life thing isn't all about me anyway.

Afterthoughts

It's taken me a few days to catch my breath and process my impressions of "An Evening with Karen Wasoba."

First, I was overwhelmed by the dear people who endured a night of rainy weather on a Friday night to attend. I thought that was amazing, especially since there wasn't a whole lot of advertisement. We had exactly the amount of folks who could fit into such a compact place.

Second, the sense of community blessed me immensely. At one point I almost felt like we were a huge family coming to support little Joey's first piano recital.

So many friends stepped in to make sure the details were taken care of. That was a major relief to me.

Next, thanks to the dear ones who pulled me aside to pray with me. It really did calm my nerves and allowed me to surrender everything into God's care.

I felt a subtle letdown the next day when I woke up with a major sore throat and fever. Not feeling well, I found myself thinking of all the things I should have done better. All the comments I wanted to add but didn't and vice versa. I'm still dealing with the afterthoughts and working to be objective about everything.

I've gotten positive responses from attenders and I can't tell you how much I appreciated it.

I also watched the video...Don now tells me we don't have the equipment to transfer it from our camcorder to the computer. We're working on it.

I have lots more to say about this but for now let me say I'm glad I went through with it.
Was I comfortable?

Sort of.

Did I have fun?

Yep!

Will I do it again?

Um... I don't know about whether the world can handle Part Deux. Let's just say I'm glad I have a 'day job' I love.

In the end, I think we did what we set out to do:

Just sit back and have fun.

I DID IT!!!!

I'd like to express my sincere appreciation to everyone who attended "An Evening with Karen Wasoba."

I couldn't have asked for a better evening (dryer, maybe. And I give terrible driving directions...). It went pretty smoothly, and while I'm by no means a professional entertainer I like to think we had fun.

I was so tickled to see many familiar faces there last night. It meant a lot to me to be encouraged in this way. There were approximately 30 people in attendance and plenty of refreshments to go around.

Thank you so much to those folks who took care of the details such as delivering and setting up chairs, making sure the lighting was good, folks who brought decadently fabulous desserts, made coffee.

You don't know how much it blessed me to be helped like that.

Thanks, too, to my kids who jumped in and encouraged me by sitting up front and pretending (?) to be interested in my stories.

Don, too, was a great help. Too bad I spent most of the evening telling tales about him.

Wait.

They aren't tales if they're TRUE.

I really don't know how it went; I was so preoccupied with making sure I had my routine going I couldn't be sure if it was good or my dear audience was being nice.

I'll watch the video in the next few days. It will be difficult and I'll be irritated that no one told me my outfit didn't match.

But I have to admit I brought as much as I could to the evening.

I'm most likely not going to quit my day job, but taking the risk to do some stand-up comedy was thrilling for me.

Thanks again to everyone!

p.s. I woke up today with a fever and laryngitis. Maybe I overdid it.

Here We Go!

It is almost Zero Hour.

I have my notecards, my crew is spiffing up the place.

I'm spiffing myself up.

In just a few hours a group of friends and I will indulge ourselves in an hour (or so) of nothing but fun.

This fun does not involve mud baths, football games (sorry guys) or shopping.

It involves laughter.

and desserts.

Tonight is the event I've been blogging about for the last little bit. I'm planning to share many true stories from my goofy life. I've asked my son Ryan to play and sing a song for the group.

I'm nervously excited. Or excitedly nervous.

I'll let you know how it goes.