Preparation Blues

I've noticed how challenging it is to prepare for an event, even a fun one.

There is such a thing as too much preparation.

I admire so much those folks who seem to do this kind of thing easily.
They make it look spontaneous but don't let them fool you.

I've been jotting down ideas and even writing down what I want to say. But I know that the actual evening will go quickly.

I'm reminded of my wedding day-

It took so long to plan and prepare. When I looked at the church clock after the ceremony I was shocked to realize the entire thing had taken only 24 minutes.

I wanted to do it over again just to get my money's worth!

That's what this event will feel like. So don't be surprised if I repeat myself.

A lot.

Wedding Blessings

Hey everyone!

I wanted to share really quick how God worked His stuff in the planning of Kari's wedding.

There are a few things I do well; I can create and I can execute plans. But I can't do both of those things at the same time...

It used to bother me that I couldn't do everything to perfection. Believe me, I tried.

But there comes a time when you have to learn something reeaally important:

Delegate!

I've got some amazing friends who stepped in to contribute their talents to the festivities:

One extraordinary seamstress who not only made the bridesmaids dresses but also got me out of a jam (literally!) when the zipper on my dress broke,

An amazing baker who created the most delicious and beautiful cakes I've ever seen,

An excellent caterer, a horticulturist, and bridesmaids who know a thing or two about hair and make-up. One dear friend who was a one-woman support system making sure everything could happen in the first place...

Everything fell into place (or fell apart) as it was meant to and the ceremony and reception went off almost without a hitch.

I want to make sure I thank everyone who made my daughter's wedding so special.

What a great team!

Tightrope Walking

Romantic movies about weddings LIE!

They depict the mother-daughter relationship while planning a wedding to be all fancy lunches and fantasys shared over spa treatments.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Planning a wedding is inherently stressful. No mistake about it.

For example: Put two stressed adult women in an overheated car on a busy highway on the way to yet another possible reception venue site and you take stress to a whole new level.

We're talking nuclear meltdown.

I learned so much about myself while planning darling daughter's wedding this summer. I'm no stranger to planning events and preparing for them. I've been around, see.

I learned to lose lots of sleep trying to be creative with wedding and reception decorations.
I learned to delegate and find the best people for the right task. That was awesome.

But my biggest lesson was that despite all my brilliant ideas and how absolutely perfect they were and how much Kari and Gareth and everyone else would love them...

they still had to be approved by the bride.

Imagine that.

I really thought I was helping most of the time, being objective and trying to accomplish what my daughter was envisioning for her wedding. Yet most of our arguments centered around her impression that I didn't 'get it,' that what I was creating wasn't what she meant and I was stressing her out.

That was tough to hear. I thought I was being a saint, really. I hadn't said half the things I'd wanted to say. I'd also had to give up some ideas I thought were fabulous (even if I do say so myself).

Yet here she was, saying I was trying to do it MY way.

We got mad a lot. We cried a bit. We hugged a lot.

I learned to walk the tightrope of making sure I remained balanced in my desire to have this be Kari's special day and not my interpretation of it. Yes, I fell off a few times, landing flat on my face. Each time I was able to get back on the rope and keep going.

Because I really love my daughter. It was my time to step aside as the authority over her life and let it be done her way (um, mostly).

And we made it. It was a beautiful event.

At least in my opinion.

I'm Baaaaack!

Hi Folks,

I know it's been quite a while since I've updated my blog but I can 'splain.

My daughter got engaged in January and my mind exploded.

Pure and simple.

There's a lot of pressure in being the Mother of the Bride (note the capital letters).
Not only are there a vast amount of decisions to be made, the costs to be tallied, but there is also a great emotional expense involved in all of this.

The self control it takes to offer opinions to the nervous bride and know you have no real say in anything is nervewracking.

I know, I know. Most people assert that whoever pays for the wedding gets the final word.

Those folks must not have children.

There's a mysterious dance a mother and her daughter performs that requires dexterity and a selflessness that I fear I don't possess. Toes get trampled (along with feelings) as both women try to make decisions they can live with without hurting the mother/daughter relationship.
Despite my many missteps I THINK our relationship is still intact.

But it took some pride swallowing on the part of both of us.

I've got so much to share with you about the many instances of God's intervention and provision for all of this.

So get ready for waaaay too much information as I debrief about the last 6 months.

It's been fun, it's been awful, it's been challenging, it's been emotional.

And I'd do it all again (with some revisions). What an awesome experience.