His Eye is on the Sparrow

A new family has taken residence at my residence.

A bird family.

Don't ask me what kind of bird; it has wings. And a beak.

And a nest firmly built in the eaves of my front porch.

Now this bird family is very interesting to me. I've watched this bird househunt a few weeks ago. Obviously she(?) wasn't happy with pre-existing homes so she decided to build one herself.

It's quite stylish, if I say so myself.
At least it's in a great neighborhood.

I've admired the focus with which this bird has gathered her materials and firmly attached them to this very narrow expanse of wood nailed overhead. I doubt there was much that could have deterred her from her task.

Now it seems as if the 'significant other' bird has arrived. Again, I'm not bird savvy so I don't know the common behaviors of this particular species of bird.

But I have noticed that they view us as an irritant; anything that disrupts their apparent plans for this nest ticks them off royally. They are not nonverbal birds.

While my human self sits on the front porch enjoying the weather, these chirpy critters make it clear I am simply not to have my way. I'm to surrender my own perch in favor of them having theirs.

They aren't aware of the actions I've taken to assure their safety; the chairs I've moved so our cats can't climb them to get at the nest or the different path we try to take so they aren't disturbed.

During a storm I've kept my eye on them but they don't know they have a protector.
I've watched for predators and been ready to shoo any danger away.I've been thinking about them quite a bit. For some reason it's important to me that they survive and thrive.

I've taken the role of protector and these scrawny bird-legged birds don't even know it.

No matter.

I'll continue my vigilance as long as this clan resides here. My nest is their nest.

So...
I go back to my own life and the similarities between these bird-brains and my own bird-brain.
How likely it is that the Head of the home I've chosen to dwell in watches over me.
How He moves some things out of my path so I'm protected. He keeps a vigilant eye on my comings and goings. He probably enjoys hearing my chirps too.

He's thrilled I've chosen to abide in his abode.

So...
Perhaps the next time I'm so focused on building and planning for the future I'll think of this birdie brood. I also have a Protector who is watching over me with care and delight.

I need to be more respectful of what God does in my life. I must learn to accept that my Protector watches over me, keeping me from some harm I might never see.

Hopefully I'll keep my scolding squawks to myself.

Stuff and Nonsense

It seems to me that most of us are either getting new stuff or getting rid of old stuff. But it's all stuff, after all.

Early in my marriage, I spent lots of mental energy wishing I had and trying to get.

Now that I'm older I find I'm clearing out and giving away.

Don't get me wrong- I like stuff. I like looking at it and I like using it.

But after while it seems as if all the stuff I've ever worked for and acquired over the years is, truly, only stuff.

Last week my dear daughter Kari decided to have a garage sale. So many of us say we don't have anything to sell or don't have the time to sort through the stuff we have in order to get rid of it.

Such was not the case here. We eagerly dug through and enthusiastically donated item after item for the sale.
It surprised me to realize how few possessions were really sentimental or useful to the family. Yet most items were acquired a piece at a time, if not deliberately, then purposely welcomed into our home.

Looking at this stuff spread out on tables for the garage sale, I realized that none of those things held any meaning for us.
How when we decided to sell them we cut all emotional ties with them.
And they became stuff.

The sale went well; it was fun to watch each buyer leave happily with some of my former stuff. I was glad to see my stuff become their new prize.

But it challenged me to be mindful of the next stuff I bring into the house.
Or into my mind.
Or into my heart.

It's vital we keep perspective on what we find valuable.
And what is just stuff.

Power of the Will

One thing you've probably noticed if you've been following my blog is that I enjoy laughing at myself.

I laugh at you, too, but you don't know that.

Anyway, what I think is really funny is how many excuses/reasons I have for explaining my actions. Depending on my own viewpoint I can reason away (aka excuse)anything.

If I want to do something I'll find a reason (It's the RIGHT thing to do, I want to show my support, etc.).

If I don't want to do it I'll find a reason (I don't 'feel led,' I'm overbooked, I'd be in the way...).

But today is a great example of overcoming true obstacles (I might have broken my toe yesterday falling over something- is 'puffy purple' a medical term?)

Earlier today Don and I found ourselves excitedly riding our bikes together on the Katy Trail. Against 20+ mph winds. Me with a severely bruised toe.

I found a way and managed to overcome real roadblocks. (Don didn't: apparently while I wasn't looking he turned his wheels wrong, took a ditch, and fell headlong over his handlebars. I saw him climbing back onto his bike after his tumble but was unfazed since he tends to fall down a lot).

So...

My will managed to ignore physical pain so I could do what I wanted to do. My stubbornness said those real obstacles weren't big enough to stop me.

My will pushed my thoughts beyond what I thought I could do; I actually forgot for a while that I had aches, pains, and pressing responsibilities.

My thoughts focused outward rather than inward.

So while I nurse my aches and pains (and Don's embarrassment)I'm energized by the ability God has given me to use the power of my will to enjoy life.

But boy, will I ever remember my limitations when I try to get out of bed tomorrow.

Especially if I don't WANT to get up.

In Honor of April Fools Day

I love pranks.

Not the pranks viewed on tv reality shows that delight in frightening or embarassing folks. I can't even watch those because it makes me uncomfortable. No one wants to be made to look foolish.

No, I love the pranks that push the envelope a little but show forethought and a little preparation. Like the old pink flamingos in the yard trick. And the forking the lawn trick. I think tp-ing the office is cute. I once saw an entire house wrapped in cellophane but there might have been a deeper reason for that...

A friend of mine once got into my office and replaced all my pictures with photos of her and her husband on a cruise. Her in a bathing suit. My shelf suddenly had sex manuals and viagra samples displayed on it. One time same friend took an unflattering photo I had given her (of me after having fallen asleep among some chocolate chips-indescribable) and had them made into Christmas cards.

THAT took planning!

When my best friend turned 40 I had an old grade school photo of her published in the local newspaper. We dressed up as grannies one year for our bosses' birthday; each patient brought him a sympathy card.

My most favorite prank occurred when my kids were in high school: One evening my son Ryan went to his car to fetch something. In a flash he was back inside laughing hysterically. "I've been PRANKED!" We all rushed outside to see the carnage; it was memorable.

While we were all inside the house that evening, someone had come up to our driveway, taped off a pattern on Ryan's hand-me-down car (blue 1992 Acclaim) and spray painted a fluorescent orange racing stripe along the hood, top, and trunk and added #7 to the side. We never realized it was happening.

Years later we learned that the culprit was a band-mate of Ryan's. It was awesome.

Ryan drove that car proudly for years afterwards.

The spirit of fun made the prank a good one. The display of good humor while shaking up normalcy a bit is almost flattering; I mean, only someone who really knew us would take the time to plan and follow through on something like that.

So on this April Fool's Day, think about someone you like, know, and want to kid a little. Grab the flamingos, cellophane, balloons, photos, spray paint (sparingly) toilet paper, plastic forks.

Then get out there and 'bless' somebody.

Making Assumptions

Well, Folks. Today was an interesting day.

When you consider the fact that it was my day off (read: day of REST) I sure overdid it. I found myself rushing around from appointment to appointment all day long.

And I don't regret a thing.

It's funny how caught up we get when we anticipate a situation. I find myself assuming someone is going to behave/react in a certain way and prepare for (dread) it.

Then when everything unfolds I'm often surprised and delighted by the result.

The stressors I expect didn't materialize

My fears are unrealized

My concern is unfounded.

After I process the experience I want to slap my forehead because I did what I warn my clients against:

I made assumptions.

I spent time today with several friends who I feared would sap my emotional strength and leave me depleted for the rest of the week.

Instead I felt refreshed as I interacted honestly with people I care about. And who care about me (I think).

It was cool.

So I'd like to offer the suggestion that making assumptions is likely to be a waste of time and energy. We tend to suffer proactively for things that may not happen at all.

So don't borrow trouble. Keep your ears, eyes, and heart open to what might actually happen.

Be willing to experience the experience as it unfolds.

Then your assumptions won't make a fool of you.

Soul Strength

These last few weeks have left me exhausted. Not so much physically; if you could see me at this moment I look downright serene!

But from the neck up and behind my furrowed brow there's a veritable tornado swirling around me as I review these last few days.

I have to do this almost every weekend as I release the stresses and frustration and allow the joys and blessings to seep back in.

It's a real lifesaver for me.

God uses the storms and pressures to strengthen me in ways I could never imagine. I also would never willingly choose some of these experiences.

Yet when I have my 'review weekends' I'm brought to one major conclusion:
God always provides a strength of soul to endure our trials.

How many times have you had an emergency, stress, or major conflict and you handled it?
Somehow, someway, you automatically endured, aided, soothed, cared for someone else.
No thoughts of yourself (at least not too many) and you were only in the moment to do what you had to do.

Then afterward when you can really process the experience, you realize you did...fine. You managed, coped, participated in a meaningful way.

That's soul strength.

Soul strength is a confirmation that you have become stronger than you ever thought you could.

Or that was ever possible for you.

Soul strength says that what God has said all along about Him being your strength and shield applied to you too. Not just the 'other guy' but YOU.

So rest along with me, my friends. Process this last week and acknowledge the times when you handled something well. Recharge, renew, and go into next week knowing that whatever you encounter God will give you the soul strength to handle it.

A Matter Of Semantics

'I don't mind' vs. 'I don't care.'

Simply stated, what you say may not be what I hear.

I'm often surprised by how befuddled some people are when they get into conflict with their spouses. It's usually men, but women are not immune to feeling shocked when their seemingly innocent comment gets blown out of proportion. Then an argument ensues and the 'offender' feels misunderstood.

So let me clear a few things up.

It's NOT okay to say the phrase 'I don't care' when your spouse/significant other asks you:
what you think
where you two should go
what should be worn
or when asked your deepest opinion about something heartfelt.

For example, say your dearie has made big decisions that involve you in some way.
Lots of consideration has gone into it. Choices have been made. Money has been spent.
All that's left is to reveal the decision to you and for you to offer encouragement and affirmation.

You are speechless. It's a cool thing, what's been decided. You really do appreciate it but you don't know how to express yourself.

Sweetie nervously asks you if there's a problem. Don't you like the decision? Was it wrong or right? Was there a mistake?
"I don't care."

I know what you're really trying to say is that it's great, awesome, unbelievable. You want to express your joy and disbelief. You want to appear willing but then you hear yourself say "I don't care."

Here comes the battle.

Darling doesn't hear "I don't care" as "this is wonderful and I'm glad you thought of it and I'm thrilled." Darling hears "I don't care" as "It doesn't matter what you do or say I'm unaffected and unimpressed. "

Perhaps the best suggestion I can offer is to replace "I don't care" with "I don't mind."

They mean different things, don't you think?

When I hear "I don't mind" I don't feel put down and dismissed. While the substitution isn't perfect it doesn't engender as much aggravation and stress. It's not inflammatory, nor does it tend to be interpreted as a total shut down.

As I've said in previous blogs, we have to be careful what we say. We need to filter ourselves and be open to possible misunderstandings. Be willing to reformat how you communicate with those who mean the most to you.

Choose your words carefully; if not, next time your Cutie won't care if you mind or not.