Puppy Changes Everything

This is like deja-vu all over again.

Our new puppy Teddy has totally retooled (redrooled?) our way of thinking. It's as if we had a baby in the house again.

This time we're almost prepared: the shoes are above chew level, the grab-able dangly earrings are stored away for a while.

We even had to put a baby gate up to protect the Christmas tree.

Alas, we were too late in some instances: A button mysteriously disappeared from my cozy slippers, a few ornaments became chew toys, and we've had to splice the wiring on not one but two phone chargers.

But we're more resilient this time. Unlike a toddler, we can crate this rascal. The protesting noises are similar but the guilt I feel isn't the same.

We've had visitors to see the new family member, each person presenting gifts which promptly were ignored in favor of the packaging they came in.

Hey, I gotta go- I just realized it's been way too quiet for a few minutes. I have to go check on the little furball to see if he's writing on the walls or sticking his tongue in a light socket.

Later!

Second Thoughts

Now that I've announced my plans to host a 'fun night' I'm having second thoughts.

Not second thoughts about our need for fun and laughter.

Not second thoughts about my desire to host it, to share funny stories about my experiences.

But rather, second thoughts about my ability to do it.

I know all about how God gives each of us talents and the strength to use them.
But I'd be lying to you if I didn't admit to having reservations about THIS experience THIS time.

I'm blown away by the details and hoops one has to jump through to plan even a casual event like this. It's a major challenge and a reminder that doing things properly is one form of obedience to God.

So.

Since I'm focused on preparation and hoping for a successful evening, I'll be sharing with you how it's going.

Second thoughts, cold feet, snags, the whole thing.

Stay tuned.

Learning to Be Satisfied

So how's everyone doing? I hope you are pacing yourselves and enjoying the process of Christmas.

I think it's interesting to watch people shop at the last minute. After a while they're frantically throwing just about anything into their cart for a stocking stuffer. Random comments such as, "I know Loretta likes...towels. Yeah, towels. So I bet she'd like this orange one on sale from Halloween." Moms and Dads are threatening their exhausted kids that Santa won't visit them if they don't behave.

People are losing their perspective as panic sets in.

I'm aware of an anxiety that's rising within me; I'm conflicted and confused but the reason may not be what you think. (Those of you who know me are thinking, "What? She's ALWAYS confused!").

Hear me out.

I'm struggling with the realization I have to learn to be satisfied.

Not satisfaction with what I want or may receive as a gift. Like most of us I have plenty and then some.

My discomfort comes from the fact that I have to be satisfied with the amount of gifts I GIVE to the family members and other folks I love.

Isn't it true? How do we express how we truly feel about our loved ones? I know for myself, mere words can't express the depth of love and appreciation I feel for the people in my life.

The only way we know of is to give gifts. Lots of gifts. Too many gifts. The bigger the better.

But then even after the giving and the thank you's we follow up with,

"Did you really like it? Huh? Huh? Did you? You're not just saying that, are you?"

So here's where the challenge is:

Accept that you can't give someone a gift equal to their personal value. You just can't. I know I've tried and maxed out credit cards in the past in my effort to 'get it right this year.'

Instead, determine that you're going to show your dear ones all year long how you feel about them. Don't save up all the good stuff till the end of the year, dump it in their laps and expect them to read your mind and your heart.

You will always be unhappy the next time you see that item laying unused in their room/house. You will equate your value with how they treat your gift.

So don't use Christmas items as a symbol for who you are and what you mean to your loved ones. Purchase a simple gift you know they will enjoy and let it go. It's a tough bit of advice I'm having to heed myself.

So as I've been saying all along:

Take a deep breath, repeat indefinitely.

Relax and decide that you're going to be satisfied.

Time For a Break

I know it's the last weekend before the Christmas holiday crunch begins. Already I'm having trouble finding a parking spot and having to play 'chicken' with grocery carts at Wal-Mart. I think if I earned a nickle for every time I heard Andy Williams sing "It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year" somewhere I could retire a wealthy woman indeed.

Isn't it going too far when the countdown until Christmas is a permanent fixture on your television screen? The other day I thought I was watching channel 10 for about an hour before I realized I wasn't: They were kindly reminding me there were 10 days before the Big Day.

Pressure, pressure, pressure.

We're in the final lap, gang.

Now's the time to decide what great plans get tossed and what will really happen. My efforts to bake a bizillion different types of Christmas cookies to pass around to friends and family has already taken a major hit; now I'm wondering if Oreos will do.

So here's where we have to make peace with our expectations:
Sit down,
Have a hot cuppa,
Breathe (repeat this last step indefinitely).

It's vital that you think about your priorities before you join the bustling crowd singing around the cash registers. Consider the folks you really treasure and what they'd really appreciate from you.

I've learned that several of my friends know they have enough possessions but really want to spend friend time over a Happy Meal. Some other friends would love some cards with pre-stamped envelopes; all they have to do is drop a quick note to someone who loves to receive a personal word.
Still others loooove homemade soups and cookies and really don't care at all about more knicknacks.

I have a friend who took an embarassing photo of me and had it made into photo Christmas cards and gave them to me (I sure hope I have all the copies).

One year I took little bits of yarn and placed it in a small basket. When my friend opened it I explained it was a weekly supply of string bikinis to use in her new swimming pool.

The point is, we need to take a break and simplify. Respect the meaning of the holiday and determine you're going to do less and enjoy more.

Relaxing takes work.

But in taking a break you're refreshed and just may find the need for a little redirection.
Let everyone else get frenzied and flustered. Then when they see you smiling through it all they'll either think you're medicated or have found the solution to holiday stress.

Either way they'll want some too.

p.s. Don't forget to keep up with my blogs and spread the news about my book. We need to provide as much encouragement as possible this time of year.

Stop Sleeping on the Floor!

Christian service sometimes feels like a competition: How heavy can we make our workload before we prove that we are spiritual enough? We exhaust ourselves with ladies' meetings, Bible studies, committees, banquets, revivals, etc., in an effort to validate our worth.
All the while we long for rest, yet rarely accept it when it's offered to us.

In my counseling office, I speak to many exhausted Christians who want to get off the hamster wheel of ministry and yet fear the downtime it offers.
What will people think? What will God think? It seems selfish to need time to rest and recharge our batteries.

Most of us lack an understanding of our own motives and why we think we need to keep ourselves so harried. Sometimes fear keeps us pushing and striving to BE someone to God. While we strongly deny that we're trying to work our way into God's good graces, the fact is we don't want to take any chances.

We know we're accepted as we are and are assured of our place in heaven if we accept Jesus Christ into our hearts. But many of us still feel we have to overwork to show God how much we appreciate it.

I equate it to someone who's received a really wonderful gift; she's grateful and so sends a Thank You card to the giver. The giver responds with a Thank You for the Thank You. Then the recipient sends ANOTHER card thanking her for the Thank You for the Thank You!

Have you ever had that happen? I've had folks who've almost made me regret the initial kindness because the gratitude threatened to smother me after while.

I'm not suggesting that God grows tired of our praise and gratitude; He's very aware of the value of the gift. It just seems as if we neglect the freedom we are to enjoy due to that gift. There is a sense of having to repay the debt, which is something we can never do.

It can be very difficult to cut back on our Christian duties and allow someone else to lead, to bless us instead. After all, we were taught to be servants in His field. The problem comes when everyone is a servant and no one allows themselves to be served. Scripture states that we are to serve and be served (Galatians 5:13). Many times we take the hard path and don't allow ourselves to just sit and be blessed. It just isn't right to want that kind of care and attention.

For years I felt that service meant to press on and on. Over time I found myself grumpy and anxious. Then one day the Holy Spirit brought to mind how exhilarating it felt to bless someone and how lousy it felt when it wasn't accepted.

For example:
Imagine that you are expecting a dearly loved and long-awaited visitor. You gussy up the guest room, putting on the finest sheets, blankets and pillows. You purchase special indulgences for the guest bathroom in honor of this persons' importance in your live. You don't rest until everything is absolutely perfect.

Your guest arrives and you enjoy a wonderful but tiring evening together. Ushering her to the special guest room, she gushes enthusiastically over its decorations and thoughtful details. You go to bed thrilled at the opportunity to show this loved one how much you appreciate her.

The next morning arrives and you rise early to prepare a tasty breakfast. Going to the bedroom door, you knock and notice that you don't hear any movement inside. Concerned, you open the door a crack and peek inside.

You can't believe what you see! The beautiful bed that you so painstakingly smoothed and arranged for your company is untouched; not a single pillow or blanket has been disturbed.

Instead, you see your guest huddled on the floor in a pile of dirty, used sleeping bags you'd stored in the back of the closet. Opening her tired eyes, your guest sweetly says,
"Oh, it was too pretty to waste on someone like me!"

Aren't we like that with God? He has prepared a place for us, and has assured us of His loving care and desire to bless us. In return, we sigh and keep on working and striving, all the while ignoring the gifts He provides. Gifts such as love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance (Galatians 5:22,23).

I know how aggravated I get when my gift is deemed 'too special' to use and enjoy. I'm convinced that there are dresser drawers everywhere holding extravagant gifts to be used 'someday.' And I'm equally convinced that there are disappointed loved ones who would rather see their gift being used than being stored for later.

How about you? Do you consider God's gifts too special to be enjoyed on a daily basis? Do you find yourself sleeping on the floor, and not nestling into the life of peace and joy God wants you to enjoy?

I urge you to consider your own need to be ministered to as well as to minister. Sleeping on the floor is not a way to express gratitude for the life you've been given. Use the blessings, roll around in them and breathe deeply once in a while.

Think of all the money you'll save on Thank You cards.

Christmas Cheer Overload

I have finally experienced too much of a good thing.
We decided to pare down the gift giving for the 2009 holiday season.

The rules were simple:

$10 limit per person. However, each item had to be handmade, resale, pre-owned, repurposed or purloined from someone else (my idea of purloined is asking a friend if they had something they no longer wanted that I could have). The only stipulation was that each gift had to be nicely wrapped-and the paper had to be old/used/pre-owned as well.

I admit I had a blast obtaining items from random places and wrapping them up. There was a reckless abandon in finding things and hiding them. And I like to believe everyone else had fun as well.

Here's where the problem arose.

We put no limit on the number of gifts each person should receive. So when I had 5 gifts for one person that had little or no cost, I kept looking for ways to spend that $10 on them. I think everyone else had the same thinking, especially when we looked at the Christmas tree and the gifts were spilling out into the middle of the living room. It must have taken us several hours to unwrap everything till it got ridiculous.

Too many blessings! So many cool things we either couldn't remember what we had or couldn't fully appreciate them all. Seriously, we all looked a little exhausted as we viewed the mayhem and madness after the fact.

Over the last week I've been reliving that experience, of feeling overwhelmed with TOO MUCH good stuff. It got me to thinking of how God sometimes metes out our blessings in tiny amounts and we wish He'd be more generous. We look at other folks who have things we'd like to have or have the funds to do things we'd love to do and wish we were blessed like that. We're so certain we can handle it.

But I'm not so sure.

How pointless it would be to receive so many blessings we can't absorb them all. I'd hate for them to go to waste, wouldn't you?
And I'd hate to take anything for granted in the blessing process. I want to enjoy it ALL.

I'm already planning our holiday rules for next year. As much as I loved all the time and attention my family lavished on me this year I want it to be more measured next time. I want to oohh and ahhh over every item and hear the story behind where it came from and hug and kiss the giver.

And I want my God-given blessings to be appreciated the same way.