Reality Check

Dear Hubby and I went camping last weekend.

Call me romantic, but when Don gifted me with a 2 night basic camping reservation at my favorite local park I was delighted.

No delicates or expensive jewelry for me; the only fluffy stuff I'm interested in right now is toasted marshmallows over a roaring campfire.

Not a tough decision- would I rather wear something pretty or eat something yummy?

Yummy!

Anyway, despite some dark clouds and a few rain drops we threw our gear in the trunk and drove to the campground. Right away I settled into the limitations of basic living- you eat only what you brought, you cook in the one pan you have, use only that which you have with you.

It was nice. And peaceful.

I couldn't think about all the stuff I had to do because I had brought no work with me. Don and I walked and talked and generally allowed ourselves to unwind. (btw, I think I did better than Don at unwinding because our second day camping he began to experience detox from tv- it almost got ugly there for a bit).

It stormed, too. Our stuff got soggy. We managed to wring stuff out and carry on.
Didn't change my clothes for 2 days but that's another story entirely.

When our trip was over (sigh) we packed up our gear and went home. We were relaxed and content. We sat in our favorite chairs and just stared off into space.

Then daughter Kari came upstairs, sat down and looked at me expectantly.

"i'd like to go to the mall."

Expectant pause while looking at me.

I deflate.

I hesitate.

And then I cave in.

So we drive to this nice mall and I am struck by how different the mindset is among shoppers than campers.

Camping mindset: The marshmallows are crunched? You dropped the hot dog on the ground? Pick it up quick and brush it off! I'm sure it's still good if you eat it fast. Forgot your hairbrush? Don't worry about it- you're wearing a hat anyway and we all look homeless.

Shopping mindset: I NEED new shoes. No, those are too plain. I want some fancy ones. But they're pretty. That outfit is pretty; it looks like the other one in the other store. Lots of accessories; I need lots of jewelry, purses, hats, etc...

By the time I got back home I was mentally scrambled. The change in reality was exhausting.

I'm not criticizing shopping, malls, materialism and espousing all nature and simplicity.
I'm suggesting I need to be reminded what is valuable to me. Sometimes there's nothing like a great shopping trip with a great companion. It allows you time to share opinions and learn about each other.

But so does simplicity.

Observations

I've been talking with lots of parents these last few days who have the same concerns about their skills:

Are they too lenient?
Are they taking the right steps?
Will their children survive their childhoods?
Will they survive their children's adulthoods?

I'm on a fact-gathering mission at this time and it seems that most of us are in the same dilemma: Having peace that the decisions we have made or are presently making are the BEST for the future of our families.

Have hope, fellow parents!

Take each day as it comes. Be strong in your boundaries and in your own choices to benefit your legacy.

In the meantime...

Please notice that it's summer. Like, it's a good thing. Like, man, chill out.

Have a nice cool drink. Turn on the baseball game. Grill some grilly thingies.

Relax.

By the way, I will continue to do my research. And have some grilly things.

I will update soon.

Enjoying the Holidays

The holiday food is eaten and the packages are unwrapped; your blood pressure is leveling off and the mayhem has ceased.

Now what?

Think back on what has relentlessly filled your mind these last few days/weeks/months.

Lists and more lists, tasks and more tasks, obligations and more obligations.

It's exhausting to be so jolly for so long.

At some point we see that there is no more to do and all that's left is allowing ourselves to enjoy what we've done.

I think it's hard to do.

I know I spend so much time deciding and guiding the festivities for everyone I'm wiped out and miss most of the fun because my mind is still racing:

Is their reaction honest?

Did I get the right gift for them?

Did I remember everything?

Am I scarring them for life because I forgot something?

Maybe it's just me but I noticed something odd in many Christmas movies:

They seem to have time to do everything, they remember details and they enjoy the process.

Plus people are happy (glowing, even) with receiving one gift.

It's almost irritating.

I find I'm so distracted by the business end of the holiday I forget the fun end.

So I'm trying to do it different this year and simply enjoy myself.

We've had a beautiful fluffy snowfall this year and it's breathtaking. It's all so...perfect.

It reminds me that we can't control every aspect of our lives. That we'd have done okay without the snow feature but having it somehow makes it all even more delightful.

It also reminds me that God takes care of the big stuff and even the small details. Like snow.

My challenge now is to behave how I believe; God is in charge so I'm free to relax.

Enjoy

Appreciate

Bless

Be blessed

Rest in the assurance that this Christmas is all about relationship(s). Not only relationships with our dear ones, but a relationship with our Dear One.

So it's time, my friends, to surrender the planning and working mode your brain has been in. You've been pushing and pulling the sled for a long time; now it's time to jump on it yourself and go for a wonderful ride.

WHHEEEEEEEEEE!

Time For a Break

I know it's the last weekend before the Christmas holiday crunch begins. Already I'm having trouble finding a parking spot and having to play 'chicken' with grocery carts at Wal-Mart. I think if I earned a nickle for every time I heard Andy Williams sing "It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year" somewhere I could retire a wealthy woman indeed.

Isn't it going too far when the countdown until Christmas is a permanent fixture on your television screen? The other day I thought I was watching channel 10 for about an hour before I realized I wasn't: They were kindly reminding me there were 10 days before the Big Day.

Pressure, pressure, pressure.

We're in the final lap, gang.

Now's the time to decide what great plans get tossed and what will really happen. My efforts to bake a bizillion different types of Christmas cookies to pass around to friends and family has already taken a major hit; now I'm wondering if Oreos will do.

So here's where we have to make peace with our expectations:
Sit down,
Have a hot cuppa,
Breathe (repeat this last step indefinitely).

It's vital that you think about your priorities before you join the bustling crowd singing around the cash registers. Consider the folks you really treasure and what they'd really appreciate from you.

I've learned that several of my friends know they have enough possessions but really want to spend friend time over a Happy Meal. Some other friends would love some cards with pre-stamped envelopes; all they have to do is drop a quick note to someone who loves to receive a personal word.
Still others loooove homemade soups and cookies and really don't care at all about more knicknacks.

I have a friend who took an embarassing photo of me and had it made into photo Christmas cards and gave them to me (I sure hope I have all the copies).

One year I took little bits of yarn and placed it in a small basket. When my friend opened it I explained it was a weekly supply of string bikinis to use in her new swimming pool.

The point is, we need to take a break and simplify. Respect the meaning of the holiday and determine you're going to do less and enjoy more.

Relaxing takes work.

But in taking a break you're refreshed and just may find the need for a little redirection.
Let everyone else get frenzied and flustered. Then when they see you smiling through it all they'll either think you're medicated or have found the solution to holiday stress.

Either way they'll want some too.

p.s. Don't forget to keep up with my blogs and spread the news about my book. We need to provide as much encouragement as possible this time of year.