Rubbing It In

I am not a gracious winner.

Since grade school I, like most of you, was taught to be a gracious loser.  As if we needed training to handle something rare.

We're supposed to shake our opponent's hand and say such lame things as
"Good game"
"Nice job"
"Great catch"

when we REALLY mean

"You jerk"
"You cheated"
"I was better than you."

The winner then is expected to humbly bow their head, scuff up the dirt with their dusty tennis shoe and mumble

"Aw shucks, it ain't nuthin.'"

Well, let me tell you what I do:

I rub it in.

When I win I celebrate my victory like it was Wimbleton.  The World Series. The Oscars.

I gloat, I poke, I do my dance of joy.

When it's in a conversation against someone and my side wins I insist the loser repeat "You were right"
until I'm satisfied. Sometimes it takes all day...

I stop at having them put it on Facebook but I'm seriously thinking about it.

So what if I'm not gracious?

It ain't nuthin.'

Understanding the Grief of Others

We really can't understand what we haven't experienced.

Or, more honestly, we'd like to understand it WITHOUT having experienced it.

I'd love to nod and give perfect wisdom to dear friends who experience pain and grief.

And it's so easy to give advice to someone who is indescribably burdened.  We quote verses and tell them to trust God.  We say 'This too shall pass."  And we go home.

Admittedly, it's very difficult for me to walk alongside someone who needs me in a crisis. Sometimes I want to cut and run.

I grieve as I watch friends and other loved ones suffer.  I want to get into the mix and fix it.

I want to hire a ninja.

But since I can't, all I can do is BE with the sufferer.  Not to say things or to heal anyone.  Just to be a calm/protecting presence in the crisis.

Only then can we begin to understand the grief of others.

You Have GOT To Be Kidding!

My sense of humor is often twisted.

Now quit rolling your eyes they might stick that way.

I think it's funny to be slightly inappropriate when it's least expected.  I have too many examples to name (perhaps those of you who know me would like to share...).

But even I have my limits.

Okay, admittedly I have very few limits but this is one of them.

White Castle scented candles.

Yes.

The bane of women and teenage-girls-on-dates everywhere White Castle.

Of course, I don't know if it's pre-eaten White Castle or post-eaten White Castle; either one strikes fear into my heart.

I have a 'no White Castles in my office' rule at work.  Seriously.  That room is just too small.

I have actually watched couples FIGHT over whether hubby should stop there on the way home. Or if he already had.

Anyway, I see(smell?) trouble looming.   I wonder if this is the beginning of the end for mankind. Instead of mace or pepper spray in our desk drawers or purses we have to carry portable febreeze.

Or we could propose a ban on matches.  After all, White Castle scented candles don't kill people- but lighting them might.

checking In

Hey Folks.

Just checking in to check to see if you've been checking up on me.

Check?

Check.

It's been a busy year so far although I can't tell you what has kept me so busy.  From talking to other people I don't seem to be the only person to experience this.

I've even taken to writing down in my day planner what I actually did that day.

 Apparently I'm a pretty busy gal.

This is when I'm supposed to talk to you about mindfulness; that being the habit of noticing and making sure you experience every moment of your life, making sure you appreciate and savor it all.

I realized not too long ago that most of us focus more on what's NEXT rather than what's NOW.  What we have to DO rather than what we're DOING.

It's time to stop and smell the roses, I think.  What good is life when it becomes a check list rather than an experience?

So I'm checking out right now to check in with my dear hubby and check out in front of the tv.

Check?

Check.

Be Careful What You Wish For

When the new year began I decided I was tired of the 'somedays' of my life.

SOMEDAY I'm going to keep all my lunch meeting promises with friends.

SOMEDAY I'm going to take my dog for more walks.

SOMEDAY I'll take MYSELF for more walks!

SOMEDAY I'll start planning to accomplish a few things on my bucket list.


So in my fervor to accomplish something I asked hubby Don to go away for a weekend so I can finally concentrate on writing my new book.  He was willing and I felt satisfied.

His weekend visit is now a weeklong trip to Florida to visit his family (I'm glad cuz his family is important).

But now I'm faced with the reality of doing what I set out to do- write my new book.

The 'what if's' that strike us all is in my face with a vengeance.

WHAT IF I can't express what I want to say?

WHAT IF I have writer's block?

WHAT IF I sound like every other Christian writer out there?

WHAT IF it is too long or too short when I'm done?

WHAT IF I have a stroke of genius and I get accused of plagiarism?

At any rate, I can rest in the fact that I'm not expected to produce a masterpiece with my first draft.

That's a comfort.

It's just that this next work is way deeper than my first one, "Lord, Shut Me Up!"  I'm already opening up some of my own pain and hurts from my past.  That's risky. Plus, um, it hurts.

So as I pray and write and pray some more, I have to admit that risk is risky and sometimes we have to be careful what we wish for.

We just might get it.

Wanderings and Ponderings

I've always known I don't think like other folks.  And other folks who think wonder what I'm thinking.

So here's what I think I've been thinking lately.

I've been visiting Pinterest quite a bit.  I love that it's like shopping without dragging a bored husband along.  It's like collecting magazine articles and photos without scissors (and I'm dangerous with scissors).

Such a variety of ideas and interests!  My collection of pins seems to be comprised mostly of rude comments and cute animals.

Culling through the assortment of available pins I often wonder how that photo was taken.  Where were they, how did they do it?  Some of my questions include the phrase, "Why bother?"  Oh, and/or "Who cares?" Let's not forget the classic "What IS it?"

But what has caught my attention lately are the cutesy pictures of the awwwwdorable baby photos.  Now I like baby pictures as much as anyone- not really- I only think MY babies were adorable.  All the others are simply tolerable.

So what I'm wondering lately is who ever thought to stuff sleeping babies in flowerpots and mailboxes?  What creative genius thought putting naked sleeping babies on flower petals was a good idea?  Is that legal?

And where did they find the babies?  Did they send out a request to talent agencies looking for naked sleeping newborns?  Cute naked sleeping newborns.  Cute naked sleeping newborns who could look even cuter wearing little angel wings and bumblebee costumes.

Or did the photographers sneak into hospital nurseries in the middle of the night, pick out the adorable one with the little headband on who just happened to be sleeping resting his/her little head in his/her cute little hand?

I worry about things like this!

In 20 years or so I can just picture a new client sitting in my office with this issue:

"It all began when I was a newborn..."

Adapting to Change

Helloooo all you frazzled hoomans!

When I was younger ( like in the days when Christmas tress were silver tinsel, rotated, and had a color wheel illuminating the tree in multi-colored splendor), Christmas was a fun time we could hardly wait to experience.  The decorations would majically appear when we came home from school.  The wish lists were sent to Santa but curiously never needed a stamp.  My Mom would stock up on pickles, black olives, and pickled herring (don't judge me).

But as I grew older I realized that all this magic was really loads of pre-planning and WORK. Having secret meetings with dear hubby while pretending nothing was going on during the day. Having one of us divert the kids while the other one tried to sneak packages into the house and hide them.

Like most families, we had traditions and procedures that veered little each year: Hubby reading Luke 2 while dear son squirmed with impatience to get to the presents.  Someone wearing the Santa hat and giving out the gifts.

When the kids were younger our Advent calendar was a 'must.'  We finally decided that they'd outgrown it when dear daughter graduated high school and went off to college.  Son just didn't think it was fun to count down the days till Christmas when it cut into his shaving time.

Now that my kids are grown, married, and living their own lives, Christmas has gotten more complicated.

Most of you in our situation experience the same thing:

What to do when the OTHER side of the family has plans.  Traditions and procedures.

Lots of families institute a kind of lottery- THEY get them this year but WE get them next year (never mind what the kids want).  Or YOU got them for Thanksgiving so WE get them for Christmas.

I've also noticed families who get mad/insulted when they have to adapt to the kids' choice to actually stay at home and develop their own holiday traditions.  Or they get irritated when the other side WINS when "they- don't-even-care-about-Christmas-like-we-do-so-why-are-they-being-so-spiteful-they-always-act-like-this-what-did-we -do-to-them-they-are-just-jealous."

So a rift develops between families because someone can't or won't adapt to change.  I'm often amused how we invest in family so they can live happy and healthy lives and then get offended when they attempt to do so.

I also have found it interesting how we gorge ourselves with cookies and treats and special foods when we have the recipes and could make them any time the rest of the year but I digress.

As challenging and scary as it is to adapt to change I think we need to do so.  Change can often be a transition toward something that is really beneficial to everyone.  As we adapt to change we can delegate some responsibilities to others, relax, and begin to enjoy the holidays like we used to. 

Hey!  Who baked the cookies using my recipe?  The decorations have majically been put up!  Where did those gifts under the tree come from?

Perhaps adapting to change is God's way of giving us back the child-like joy we once felt at Christmas.  Change might allow others to bless us by taking over the responsibilities we grew to find tedious.

Who know?  Maybe I'll have dear children climb up into the attic and look for that old Advent calendar.  I think it's MY turn to count down the days before Christmas.