Technology is hard on my self-esteem. All this hooplah about making my life easier is making it a lot harder. I have discovered more pet peeves regarding technology than I could ever imagine.
For example, cell phones in public really bug me. Yes, they are convenient and give me more freedom. But freedom from what? I'm convinced that I overhear more conversations between folks I don't know than I ever have on my own phone.
I'm really not interested in who-said-what-to-who-and-what-they-did-and who-they-did-it-with. To me, cell phone conversations are prime demonstrations of the speaker preferring the caller than the real live person who is actually in the room/store/synagogue with them. Checkout clerks describe their frustration with shoppers who maintain a phone conversation before, during, and after completing a transaction. Drive thru restaurants rarely have firsthand conversations with those at the drive up windows.
I've witnessed young girls at the mall, walking 4 abreast, each one attached to a phone speaking to someone else! If it wasn't so frustrating I'd have laughed.
Did you ever think you'd see a note in the church bulletin asking you to turn off your cell phone? Or the library? Or a funeral home? Counseling sessions are often interrupted by the little singing menace. To be fair, my phone has squawked a time or two...
Texting isn't much better. I admit to a preference for texting since it can be read at my convenience. It can be a more concise way to share information: "Call Mom. Choking. SOS."
However, flying thumbs and downcast eyes don't make for good communication.
The picture/video function on many phones can be amazing, but it can also cause great pain as uncool, unflattering behavior or photos are sent across the world by spiteful ex-friends and soon-to-be-ex-spouses.
In fact, I'm finding that many relationships are being threatened by this little rectangular object that was meant to be so helpful. Hurting wives/husbands say their spouse is having an affair with their I Phone (is there an 'ap' for that?). Husbands are learning of their wive's marital dissatisfaction on Facebook. Important possessions are listed on the 'Free' section on Craigslist (seriously-a guy discovered his wife was unfaithful so he gave away all her stuff...everything).
Counselors and pastors now need training in the issues that surround technological infidelity, and I'm not referring to online pornography. I'm talking about the distraction of the little screen. Users respond to pleas for conversation with, "Huh?" Parents ask me how to get Junior to keep his texting minutes within reason. With each solution comes more questions.
Just out of curiousity, I collected all the technological data I check every day. What I found alarmed me, especially since I'm the least techno savvy person I know:
Work voice mail (press 1 to listen, 9 to erase)
Cell phone voice mail (press code then 7 to erase)
Work calendar site ( access code, day being checked, pop up for more information)
Email (keep as new, forward,save, or delete),
Gmail (website, access code, save, or delete),
MySpace (phasing out but not completely),
Google (blog and/or comment code),
Twitter (subscriptions or saved searches),
my own website
Scctnet.com
2 insurance companies, each with difference access codes and passwords,
Facebook.
Craigslist
My point is, when is enough enough? I fear that we will run out of 'bars' one day, look up, and find ourselves in a lonely room and wonder where everyone who mattered to us went.
I don't want to convey to people that technology is more important than they are.
Do you?
Friday, August 28, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Am I Being Punked?
Don and I went to the Columbia Bottoms Conservation Area today and had a wonderful time. The weather cooperated and it was an absolutely beautiful day.
First up, of course, is the Visitor's Center, which in this case is basically a rebuilt barn. I recommend it highly, especially as a hands-on learning theatre for youngsters. As usual, samples of wildlife are either dangled or stuffed or mounted behind glass to educate us all about the critters that roam this wild area. I took pamphlets, booklets , and information packets to pore over once my hiking experience was done and I'll tell you why.
I've been hiking and/or cycling in these carefully chosen wildlife areas these last few years. But all I know for sure is that the Visitor's Center will be the ONLY place that I will see any of these fascinating creatures (this includes the nature movie continually being played in a darkened classroom at the Center).
Once outside, armed with my books, pamphlets, a mental list of bear and deer tracks, repellants and whistles, I carefully tread on the sacred path created by the conservation department. I keep my senses fully locked and loaded to experience all that nature has to throw at me; my eyes are searching the air , the trees, the bushes, the undergrowth, and the path upon which I step so I can be a respectful and observant partaker of all nature has to offer.
So far I have discovered a baby sock (pink), a guitar pick, a hair thingy, empty shotgun shell casings, various rocks and feathers, and a lone bicycle seat that begs the question- 'where's the rest of the bike?'
I have NOT seen a black, brown, grizzly or polar bear. Nor have I encountered a bobcat, bobwhite, white-tailed deer (except at a farmer's field outside the nature area). There have been no snakes, owls, turkeys, pheasants, or feral dogs, cats, or pigs.
There have, however, been many empty water bottles, bandaid wrappers, wayward shoe inserts, empty bait containers, and even a few articles of clothing I'm surprised have not been missed.
My point is, do the folks in charge of these parks purposely collect these tantilizing examples of wildlife, have a meeting, and then send them off on a brief vacation upon learning of my plans to visit their grounds?
The next time I visit a park I think I'll take the trails and set up my tent in the appropriate area. I'll leave all my maps and insiders guides at home. I'll spend my time seeing and appreciating what is truly there rather than endlessly scan the horizon for what I've been told I should be seeing. Then I'll walk into the visitor's center and ask the ranger to tell me how long these displays have been here, when they've been dusted last, and if they TRULY exist in this area. Maybe I'll even have the wildlife expert take his trusty flashlight and actually show me where one of these little varmints spends his time while avoiding me. A beaver bunker, if you will.
No matter. My thrill with being outdoors in these unique places is not lessened by the absence of animals and birds. I can enjoy myself all by myself if necessary.
But beware. Some day, If I should hear the faint sounds of singing around a campfire late at night, smell critter-type smore's being toasted over a roaring fire, and might just make out the high pitched laughter of forest fawns and raccoons as they share their 'one that got away' story, I'll know it was a well-orchestrated joke played on little old me.
First up, of course, is the Visitor's Center, which in this case is basically a rebuilt barn. I recommend it highly, especially as a hands-on learning theatre for youngsters. As usual, samples of wildlife are either dangled or stuffed or mounted behind glass to educate us all about the critters that roam this wild area. I took pamphlets, booklets , and information packets to pore over once my hiking experience was done and I'll tell you why.
I've been hiking and/or cycling in these carefully chosen wildlife areas these last few years. But all I know for sure is that the Visitor's Center will be the ONLY place that I will see any of these fascinating creatures (this includes the nature movie continually being played in a darkened classroom at the Center).
Once outside, armed with my books, pamphlets, a mental list of bear and deer tracks, repellants and whistles, I carefully tread on the sacred path created by the conservation department. I keep my senses fully locked and loaded to experience all that nature has to throw at me; my eyes are searching the air , the trees, the bushes, the undergrowth, and the path upon which I step so I can be a respectful and observant partaker of all nature has to offer.
So far I have discovered a baby sock (pink), a guitar pick, a hair thingy, empty shotgun shell casings, various rocks and feathers, and a lone bicycle seat that begs the question- 'where's the rest of the bike?'
I have NOT seen a black, brown, grizzly or polar bear. Nor have I encountered a bobcat, bobwhite, white-tailed deer (except at a farmer's field outside the nature area). There have been no snakes, owls, turkeys, pheasants, or feral dogs, cats, or pigs.
There have, however, been many empty water bottles, bandaid wrappers, wayward shoe inserts, empty bait containers, and even a few articles of clothing I'm surprised have not been missed.
My point is, do the folks in charge of these parks purposely collect these tantilizing examples of wildlife, have a meeting, and then send them off on a brief vacation upon learning of my plans to visit their grounds?
The next time I visit a park I think I'll take the trails and set up my tent in the appropriate area. I'll leave all my maps and insiders guides at home. I'll spend my time seeing and appreciating what is truly there rather than endlessly scan the horizon for what I've been told I should be seeing. Then I'll walk into the visitor's center and ask the ranger to tell me how long these displays have been here, when they've been dusted last, and if they TRULY exist in this area. Maybe I'll even have the wildlife expert take his trusty flashlight and actually show me where one of these little varmints spends his time while avoiding me. A beaver bunker, if you will.
No matter. My thrill with being outdoors in these unique places is not lessened by the absence of animals and birds. I can enjoy myself all by myself if necessary.
But beware. Some day, If I should hear the faint sounds of singing around a campfire late at night, smell critter-type smore's being toasted over a roaring fire, and might just make out the high pitched laughter of forest fawns and raccoons as they share their 'one that got away' story, I'll know it was a well-orchestrated joke played on little old me.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Attitude is Everything
I do quite a bit of marriage counseling. Since Don and I have been equally-yoked for 30 years now I guess folks can see the 'married' brand on my forehead. Don says it's the broken look on his face. I told him I thought that expression was rapture...
It's thrilling to guide couples as they muddle through pain and disillusionment to obtain healing in their marriages. My goal is to encourage them to defer to the Lord for strength and wisdom, knowing that He will lead and guide them.
Many people only have the strength of their commitment to their marriage vows to keep them moving ahead. Others don't; they drop off early, stating that it's too late, they've been too wounded, the trust is gone.
It's important to note that it's not just unbelieving couples who don't hang on; often I see professing Christians too blinded by their pain and, yes, pride to hang in there through the difficult times inherent in marriage renewal.
For example, recently I had two couples in back-to-back sessions facing the same ultimatum: is this marriage worth the hard work necessary for restoration?
One couple pushed the 'yes' button. The other chose 'no.'
I'm certainly not judging either couple; they both had valid reasons for their decision.
But what intrigued me was that the currently unbelieving couple chose to honor their vows.
The Christian couple broke down.
It's a reminder to me that we need to nurture our relationships in order to keep them healthy. We can't let ourselves become cocky about our lives and our mates; rather, we need to continually monitor our attitudes and behaviors. Otherwise, we risk creating a chasm that we (or our mate) may be too exhausted or wounded to clambor over.
We can't be arrogant about our faith either. Just as good relationships draw you closer to God, difficult relationships can pull you away.
It's all in the attitude.
It's thrilling to guide couples as they muddle through pain and disillusionment to obtain healing in their marriages. My goal is to encourage them to defer to the Lord for strength and wisdom, knowing that He will lead and guide them.
Many people only have the strength of their commitment to their marriage vows to keep them moving ahead. Others don't; they drop off early, stating that it's too late, they've been too wounded, the trust is gone.
It's important to note that it's not just unbelieving couples who don't hang on; often I see professing Christians too blinded by their pain and, yes, pride to hang in there through the difficult times inherent in marriage renewal.
For example, recently I had two couples in back-to-back sessions facing the same ultimatum: is this marriage worth the hard work necessary for restoration?
One couple pushed the 'yes' button. The other chose 'no.'
I'm certainly not judging either couple; they both had valid reasons for their decision.
But what intrigued me was that the currently unbelieving couple chose to honor their vows.
The Christian couple broke down.
It's a reminder to me that we need to nurture our relationships in order to keep them healthy. We can't let ourselves become cocky about our lives and our mates; rather, we need to continually monitor our attitudes and behaviors. Otherwise, we risk creating a chasm that we (or our mate) may be too exhausted or wounded to clambor over.
We can't be arrogant about our faith either. Just as good relationships draw you closer to God, difficult relationships can pull you away.
It's all in the attitude.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Hummingbird Wars!
I'm a hummingbird fan. Not the 'even-my-license-plate-has-to-say-HMNGBRD' but they are meaningful to me.
Whenever I feel emotional chaos in my life my attention is drawn to a hummingbird frantically flapping nearby.
I have been assured that hummingbirds are common and a sighting is no big deal. But it's rare for me to see one of these little winged buggers in action.
Our encounters have been eyeball to eyeball 'whazzup' meetings. These winged critters seem to be giving me the old stare down as if to scold me for being such a wimp. They're so minute and yet so beautifully detailed. Can't I see how the Creator spent so much time and attention on them? Isn't it obvious to me (with my HUMONGOUS brain in comparison) that God spends that much care in guiding my life?
What am I, a knucklehead?
Where was I?
Oh yeah. Hummingbirds.
So I'm looking out my patio doors this morning when I see two hummingbirds buzzing each other. Apparently these little guys are territorial and don't share their snacks willingly. I've been aware of a pair of birds vying for the same watering hole for several weeks now. Both of them have been able to feed from the flowers and feeder I have set there for that purpose. I'm thinking, "Cool. God is reminding me not to worry because He's taking care of them both just like He takes care of me."
But then the party is disrupted by an intruder as a third hummingbird dive bombs the proverbial chips and dip. Then a fourth marauder joins in the fray.
I'm witnessing 4 hummingbirds soar and buzz and chatter at each other right outside my door.
Now, I'm no dummy. I can see the obvious signs of nature fighting for survival blah blah blah.
But what it means to me is beyond that.
It's a reminder of God's extreme care of me even when I'm not really aware of the details. It's the provision over and above what I ask or think. It's God's assurance that He is present in my life. He knows my heart is sore right now and that I need an emotional and spiritual bandaid.
Who cares about dumb little hummingbirds?
I DO!
And that's why God brought them to my feeder today.
Whenever I feel emotional chaos in my life my attention is drawn to a hummingbird frantically flapping nearby.
I have been assured that hummingbirds are common and a sighting is no big deal. But it's rare for me to see one of these little winged buggers in action.
Our encounters have been eyeball to eyeball 'whazzup' meetings. These winged critters seem to be giving me the old stare down as if to scold me for being such a wimp. They're so minute and yet so beautifully detailed. Can't I see how the Creator spent so much time and attention on them? Isn't it obvious to me (with my HUMONGOUS brain in comparison) that God spends that much care in guiding my life?
What am I, a knucklehead?
Where was I?
Oh yeah. Hummingbirds.
So I'm looking out my patio doors this morning when I see two hummingbirds buzzing each other. Apparently these little guys are territorial and don't share their snacks willingly. I've been aware of a pair of birds vying for the same watering hole for several weeks now. Both of them have been able to feed from the flowers and feeder I have set there for that purpose. I'm thinking, "Cool. God is reminding me not to worry because He's taking care of them both just like He takes care of me."
But then the party is disrupted by an intruder as a third hummingbird dive bombs the proverbial chips and dip. Then a fourth marauder joins in the fray.
I'm witnessing 4 hummingbirds soar and buzz and chatter at each other right outside my door.
Now, I'm no dummy. I can see the obvious signs of nature fighting for survival blah blah blah.
But what it means to me is beyond that.
It's a reminder of God's extreme care of me even when I'm not really aware of the details. It's the provision over and above what I ask or think. It's God's assurance that He is present in my life. He knows my heart is sore right now and that I need an emotional and spiritual bandaid.
Who cares about dumb little hummingbirds?
I DO!
And that's why God brought them to my feeder today.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Accepting What You Ask For
Due to a recent birthday, I'm familiar with the 'what would you like for a present' question.
I keep a wish list on my fridge door. This amuses me since no one in my family EVER refers to it. Ever. One year I mentioned this to Don; he grinned at me, saying, "That would be too easy."
So I've gotten used to the idea of not receiving what I specifically want for any holiday gift-giving occasion. I'm always delighted with whatever I'm given since the gift implies I'm loved. But it's usually not on my fridge-door list.
This concept spills over into my prayer life. I've always been willing to pray specifically for what I think I need or want. Yet it's usually easy to accept what God decides is best for me. It implies I'm loved. In fact, I tend to enjoy His creativity in how He responds to what I think I need.
Today is an exception.
I've been praying my heart out for something that's really important to me. But the answer (the gift) caught me unawares. I don't know if I'm disappointed (I don't think so) or just ...surprised.
I must admit to feeling let down to some degree. Surely God didn't read my list! I had it posted there in black and white, impossible to miss.
The gift was not something I felt I wanted or needed. I know that ultimately I'll understand it was even better than what I originally desired. But for now, I have to deal with feeling somewhat let down.
Prayer is like telling someone that you'll like whatever they give you no matter what it is. You assume you'll love the contents of that shiny package (or in Ryan's case, usually a hastily tied Deals bag). But what to do when you open the box and just don't like the gift at all?
We remind ourselves we love the Giver even if we don't like the gift. I can always use more potholders. I don't mind home-made coupon books. I even enjoy mix tapes of songs I can't understand.
This gift/prayer-answer is not fully unwrapped; there is more to be discovered in the corners of the box. For now, however, I will accept the gift that was chosen with me specifically in mind. Even if it just doesn't seem to fit me very well.
I keep a wish list on my fridge door. This amuses me since no one in my family EVER refers to it. Ever. One year I mentioned this to Don; he grinned at me, saying, "That would be too easy."
So I've gotten used to the idea of not receiving what I specifically want for any holiday gift-giving occasion. I'm always delighted with whatever I'm given since the gift implies I'm loved. But it's usually not on my fridge-door list.
This concept spills over into my prayer life. I've always been willing to pray specifically for what I think I need or want. Yet it's usually easy to accept what God decides is best for me. It implies I'm loved. In fact, I tend to enjoy His creativity in how He responds to what I think I need.
Today is an exception.
I've been praying my heart out for something that's really important to me. But the answer (the gift) caught me unawares. I don't know if I'm disappointed (I don't think so) or just ...surprised.
I must admit to feeling let down to some degree. Surely God didn't read my list! I had it posted there in black and white, impossible to miss.
The gift was not something I felt I wanted or needed. I know that ultimately I'll understand it was even better than what I originally desired. But for now, I have to deal with feeling somewhat let down.
Prayer is like telling someone that you'll like whatever they give you no matter what it is. You assume you'll love the contents of that shiny package (or in Ryan's case, usually a hastily tied Deals bag). But what to do when you open the box and just don't like the gift at all?
We remind ourselves we love the Giver even if we don't like the gift. I can always use more potholders. I don't mind home-made coupon books. I even enjoy mix tapes of songs I can't understand.
This gift/prayer-answer is not fully unwrapped; there is more to be discovered in the corners of the box. For now, however, I will accept the gift that was chosen with me specifically in mind. Even if it just doesn't seem to fit me very well.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Thinking Twice
I've had the desire to enter into the world of blogging for quite some time now. It seems like a great way to share thoughts and feelings with a greater amount of people without having to repeat myself all the time (not like I won't repeat myself anyway).
So when my birthday rolled around this year my sweet kids geared up and created this website for me. How awesome is that?
But now I'm sitting in front of my keyboard and I'm almost terrified to begin this whole avenue of communication.
Why?
Because writing down these thoughts seems so permanent. Anything I write can be 'used against me' while the spoken words can be refuted. If I say something inappropriate it's the listeners' word against mine whether I was hurtful or not. But if my written word hurts someone the proof is here for all to view.
So here's what I'm learning: Most of us are much more likely to speak spontaneously, without forethought, regardless of how we sound or who we affect. Like if our words can't be proven they shouldn't matter and we should be excused if anyone is hurt.
However, I think we should be as careful in what we say (is it useful, is it positive, can we live up to the words) as we are in what we write.
I'll try, really. That's a real challenge.
Or else I'll have to learn to type MUCH faster.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)