You're Hot, No, I'M Hot!

Our neck of the woods has been experiencing a serious heat wave these last few weeks. It's been a real challenge to adapt to the temperature.

For instance, I found out the hard way that you really shouldn't hide your Hershey bars underneath the car seat until at least September.

It's SO hot that instead of offering my clients a bottle of cold water, I offer them a teabag.

It's so hot the birds are knocking on my windows asking for ice cubes in the birdbath.

It's so hot my hubby suggested we buy some silk plants to stick in our garden to replace what used to be lush greenery.

It's so hot that yesterday I noticed that my elbows were sweating (really).

It's so hot you can't wear rubber-soled shoes because they melt on asphalt.

It's so hot the local swimming pool is being advertised as a jacuzzi.

It's so hot no one wants to be within 3 feet of anyone- due not only to the proximity but also the rotting smell of dead or dying deodorant.

It's so hot that restaurant patrons won't slide across vinyl booth seats in shorts due to the ensuing profanity; who knew how well vinyl can adhere to human skin?

It's so hot I get offended when I have to leave the house and realize my dog and cat are still in the house enjoying the air conditioning.

It's so hot that ice cream cones are served with straws.

Wait. I've got more.

It's so hot that wearing metal-rimmed sunglasses put you at risk for 2nd degree burns.

Pierced earrings are like campfire marshmallow forks.

It's so hot that you have to wear oven mitts to open the car door.


Have I given you the idea that it's very hot?