Depression and Christmas

The Christmas season has become all about us. And it's worsened when we struggle with depression. You'd think we'd outgrow the holiday blues.
Trying to make sense of our negative emotions during the holiday season is a challenge . We don't always succeed in shaking off the suspicion we missed the memo that explained what all the hooplah is about.
I think it has a lot to do with Christmas movies(see prior blog) and marketing ploys. Everything is spectacular and expensive, relationships are safe and joyous, and everyone has time to do everything. We think if we don't replicate that perfection we've blown it.
We are failures.
We can't do anything right.
It wasn't the right gift.
I forgot to bake cookies.
I forgot a tradition.
Plus I forgot to put up a stocking for cousin Freda's pet ferret.

The older we get the less magical the season is for us. Rather than being the receiver of it all we've become the giver. We know too much and have seen too much to partake of the beauty of the season; all we see are the lights that burned out and the stuff we still have to do.

It's no wonder mental issues spike at holiday times.

I think,too, we are reminded of what we don't have:

Parents are no longer with us (mine would probably be llama trekking somewhere but you know what I mean), siblings don't get along, blended families aren't blending, everyone else is going everywhere else and we have to fend for ourselves.

I've heard people say they aren't celebrating this year, they aren't decorating, they aren't traveling anywhere, they're just going to stay home and wait it out. Bah Humbug.

I say, if you can do it, go for it.

Most of us, however, feel compelled to 'try again.' Maybe THIS Christmas will be better, maybe THIS year we'll get dear daughter the present she's always wanted. Maybe we'll find that ferret stocking at Petsmart.

And then we'll feel better, maybe.

Let's remember how important it is to regain our perspective of the season. What is the proper focus during this time? Is it the stuff and the food? Is it stuffing ourselves with food?
Is it in fulfilling everyone else's fantasy of Christmas?

I used to get so depressed at Christmas I would cry at the mall while listening to good old Bing Crosby singing carols. The brighter the holiday colors the duller my mood. I didn't know what was causing it but I for sure knew it wasn't what my friends were experiencing.

So here's the thing: Depression happens. Old memories rise to the surface and float in front of our eyes. We get tempted to hide under our nice, warm snuggies until Spring.

The problem with depression is that everyone around us reminds us of our blessings, our health, and basically tell us we don't have the right to feel like we do.

And I say, we DO have a right to feel the we do. But is it worthwhile? Does it make coping any easier or the Christmas tasks any easier to accomplish? I say no.

What DOES help is to regain our focus on what Christmas is really celebrating.

Not the stuff or the stuffing.
Not the gifts or the giver.
Not the songs or the singers.

Our attention must rest on WHO we are applauding. The praise and honor due to Him only.
Our awe that Jesus came to earth in human form ,the most wonderful of all feats of love.

When you find yourself feeling particularly Grinch-like in the next few weeks take a few moments to reflect. Refuse to roll in the refuse of defeat, reminding yourself of what you didn't, don't, or will never have.

Instead, turn your attention to the things you do have: a Savior who really did come to earth, and Who continues to fulfill all His promises to you. God does give the best gifts, you know. Thinking on Him and the whole meaning of Christmas will lift your heart and emotions a bit at a time.

I promise.