Mad At God

There seems to be a theme here.

After interacting with individuals with a wide array of issues I find that many hurting people are mad at God.

I understand how they feel; I'm familiar with the checklist I go through when I'm in a trial:

Hmmm, is it me?

I've prayed

Gone to church (most of the time)

Tithed faithfully(sometimes)

Haven't cussed (much)

Read my Bible (I can still get caught up on my reading the Bible in a year...it's still January)

I haven't said or done half the things I've wanted to say or do.

So if it isn't me it has to be my husband, ex husband, environment, genetics, economy that has caused this great trial.

God certainly can overlook that, see that I'm an innocent bystander here, and get me out of this.

Ok. I'm still waiting.

What's going ON here? Doesn't God care I'm suffering here? Why doesn't He answer my prayers to change my wife, boss, children, circumstances? Isn't that what He's supposed to do?

By this time we wonder if God is playing chess using us for a pawn. We start to withdraw our prayers or the tone of them changes to accusation:

"So God, I KNOW you said you're my heavenly Father and You'd take care of me. Well, I need taking care of but you don't seem to be listening. This isn't cool, God. Where are you?"

Then we get resentful in our attitudes.

"Well. It's me again. I'm still struggling if you care to know. I'm going to stop praying for a while because you evidently aren't listening. I'm going to save my breath for taking care of my own problems since you're obviously off somewhere else."

Does this sound familiar?

This is the stage many folks are in by the time they decide to seek counseling. Not only do the clients feel the exhaustion from trying to survive the trial but also the pain of feeling God is letting them down.

They feel awful (and somewhat self-righteous) when they admit their anger at God.

So here's the thing.

God's not gone. He's not distracted or disinterested in you and your difficulties. If He has numbered the hairs on your head (Luke 12:7) He's committed to you.

And He's not mad at you for feeling this way. True relationship involves the ugly side like warts and bandaids and bodily noises. God created you and is committed to you for the long haul.

But we need to keep moving ahead and not giving up. We must maintain the belief that 'I don't understand it but I accept it.'

Keep your dialogue with God open and say what you think- because He already knows how you feel. Be real. Be mad. Be faithful.

Then be aware of a change in your outlook. Maybe that encouraging phone call from a long lost friend was more than just a phone call. Perhaps that extra time you somehow found to read a book wasn't an accident. I seem to get reminder visits from hummingbirds.

We can't predict how God will answer our prayers or take care of us. I'd love to share with my readers the many times God uncurled my tightly clenched fists to fill my hands with blessing.

Even when I was mad.