Telling the Truth Part Two

I was brought up to believe that it is crucial to tell the truth at all times.
That if I got caught lying I'd get a whupping.
That God knows if you're trying to get away with something and He'll nab you.
That it's always better to tell the truth no matter what.

I remember the quandry that teaching put me in when Aunt Tessie asked me if I liked her crocheted toilet paper holder and I really didn't. If I told the truth I would hurt her feelings but if I lied to spare Aunt Tessie's feelings I'd get whupped by my parents AND God.

I couldn't win!

No wonder so many of us would rather float by with a little white lie than to risk the consequences of telling the truth.

On the other hand, I've been victimized by those who grasp that 'truth at any cost' concept and use the truth to grind me into the ground. I've been told I'm fat, stupid, silly, and a bad wife by one relative who commonly used 'truth' to beat the tar out of anyone who protested.

"Well, I'm sorry, but it's the TRUTH!" We'd be told while we're licking our wounds.

Friends, that's not the type of truth I'm talking about. It's not okay to totally destroy someone by our opinion and then defend ourselves by claiming it's the truth. No one is nurtured by that form of truth nor does anyone learn positive behaviors and attitudes from it.

I call that the 'steamroller' brand of truth telling and I cringe when I witness it.

I've seen Moms tell their children they can't have any more candy because they're too fat.
I've heard husbands tell their wives they're not as pretty as the actress on TV.
I've observed parents telling their children they're too clumsly to take dance lessons.

All of these comments, while truthful, are destructive and I'm against it.

I'm not telling you to lie; I'm asking you to rephrase your comment so it is uplifting rather than hurtful. I'm suggesting you deflect questions you might find difficult.

In Bible college we were taught how to answer difficult questions. One great example:
"Isn''t my baby beautiful?"
(Frankly my friends, they aren't all Gerber babies!)
Here's the standard suggested answer:
"My, that certainly IS a baby, isn't it?"

I think it's possible to be totally truthful without being a real meanie about it. Think ahead, don't attack out of anger, deflect.

It can be done.