What Every Parent Needs as Empty Nesters

Have you ever noticed how little attention your work gets until you stop doing it? Much like housework, we perform some activities to simply please ourselves.

Seriously, don't most kids and husbands state that they don't really care if stuff is done around the house or if their socks match?

Until the regular dishes are stacked up in the sink (if they're lucky) and they've run out of paper towels to eat off. And little Joey got on the school bus wearing Janie's Hello Kitty socks.

That's similar to what I've encountered these last few weeks; even my dear hubby commented that I haven't been blogging lately.

And he never notices ANYTHING.

Several weeks ago I led a workshop entitled, "What Every Parent Needs" with an emphasis on empty nesting. I think the information was helpful and those in attendance seemed attentive (even though it began at 8 IN THE MORNING. The person scheduling this workshop must think all old(er)people get up before God does*).

So I'd like to pass this information on to you. I'm going to share this in several segments, so be prepared to take notes.

You will be quizzed later.

Empty nesting can be an emotionally challenging experience. As much as we might look forward to our children growing up and having their own lives it also means we have to have a life too. I know I've spent many hours dreaming of the day when I didn't have to drive carpool; I assumed I wouldn't have to worry anymore.

Then Kari and Ryan started driving themselves to school and I worried even more.

I imagined my own freedom and the opportunities I'd have to indulge in my own interests once the kids grew up and began their own lives.

Except over the years my interests had become what their interests were. There's nothing sadder than a band mom who has no practices to race their child to or real reason to sell Girl Scout cookies.

Not every parent transitions well; I cried Kari's entire senior year in high school. I would sob into my pillow every night, saying, "Babies aren't supposed to leave their Mamas..."

When we dropped her off at college I cried (actually whined) the whole car ride home.
I knew it had gotten out of hand when Ryan said, "I can understand how you feel, Mom, but that was ridiculous."

We've spent years mentally and physically invested in our children, only to be left clueless when they grow up and move on with their lives. Even the term 'empty nester' implies loss and even rejection. I prefer to think of this phase of life as 'winning the lottery.' It's the reward for many years of self-sacrifice.

Some parents feel at a loss as to what to do next. Like me, some of us aren't complete empty nesters because the kids are still occupying space (at least their stuff is- and their cats).

Some of us have adult children who live outside the home but haven't completely moved on from their childish behaviors and rely on us heavily. Many of us are now in the role of babysitter and errand runner while our kids struggle in entry level jobs.

The purpose of this article is to discuss various ways to transition into regaining our own individuality, finding renewed purpose in our lives, and using what we've learned to be a positive example for our friends and families.

But you'll have to wait for my next installment of this blog.

*Just a joke, relax.